Rations

2008-10-17T10:52:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I experienced perhaps one of the hardest days I will ever have to experience as a nurse (at least I hope so.) Seriously....am I made out for this?

Change

2008-07-06T12:26:00.001-07:00

Blessings.

God has poured out his blessings on our family. We are blessed! I remember a time when we were tredding water up stream to no avail-- yet we still tredded as if there was some hope of making it against the flow. But when you finally give into to the flow of the river of which God has placed you-- and 'go with it' the blessing pour out like rain. In the river you are surrounded by water- but when it rains you suddenly realize ow dry you have really been. God is pouring out his blessings on us- and we praise him for that!

So enough of this tredding- it is time to open my heart to my Father who has never abandoned me- even in my rebelious ways- and praise him for his blessings.

So whats new? We have moved into a sanctuary of community. We have never felt so at home before. Jacob is thriving into an amazing young man of wisdom and strength. Pat is continually self sacrificing and offering hope to a community of hurting people- who in return strengthen his faith. And I am finished the most gruling year of school to be rewarded with a my first nursing job in the PAR for the summer.

and exciting change is in the air :)

NEW SINS

2008-03-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

Okay- so the pope has come up with new sins. The article is interesting- Ill keep my own comments to myself---but the comments following the article are truley what caught my attention....good times.

The Vatican has unveiled some new sins for the 21st century, such as genetic manipulation, pollution and social injustice.

Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti, the Vatican's number-two official for sins and penance, told L'Osservatore Romano that he saw bioethics as posing the greatest risks for the human soul.
"(Within bioethics) there are areas where we absolutely must denounce some violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments and genetic manipulation whose outcome is difficult to predict and control," he told the Vatican's official newspaper on Sunday in an interview headlined "New Forms of Social Sin."

The Roman Catholic Church has previously spoken out against stem cell research that requires the destruction of human embryos, believing that life begins at conception.
Girotti also attacked drugs, saying they "weaken the mind and obscure intelligence."
On the growing gap between rich and poor, he said it causes "an unbearable social injustice."

Pope Benedict has made several strong statements on the environment in recent months, saying problems like climate change had become critical to humanity's future.
Catholicism has two basic types of sin: Venial, which are relatively less important and forgivable, and mortal.
Mortal sin can include acts like abortion and murder, although the church doesn't keep a well-defined list.

Mortal sins can cause a person to go to Hell unless confessed to a priest, who then absolves the sinner in God's name.

Comments:

DerekGood. Maybe now the religous right will stop thinking that global warming is the much anticipated Apocalypse. Now it's a sin to pollute.
msamourThere are less and less people in Canada that even pay attention to the Pope or anyone else in the Vatican. I was born Roman Catholic, but I have realise how much nonsense religion is. Why is this even newsworthy, isn't there anything else worth reporting news on?
Tom CroozeSome days, SCIENTOLOGY makes more sense.A priest can't forgive sin. That one goes to J.C., and J.C. only.
Steve"Social Injustice" as a 21st Century sin? This is the Roman Church we're talking about here right? Hmmm, gotta wonder what their next experiment with hypocrisy will be. Give me a break.
AmandaBecause condemning condoms was not enough, now the Church wants Catholics to fight global warming and poverty. Good for them for exhorting people to action; but if the Vatican truly wanted to fight poverty perhaps it should consider novel ways of helpings its impoverished congregations in developing nations.
John"Mortal sins can cause a person to go to Hell unless confessed to a priest, who then absolves the sinner in God's name."Wow, CTV News Staff. You've got me trembling in my boots. I'd better get to the confession booth!Given the church's own human rights record throughout history, I find it baffling anyone would look to them as a source of moral authority.
davidWhat about sex crimes against children?
RonThis institution has not recovered from its sins of the last century so I don't believe they have the moral authority to dictate sins of the next century.
JeebusDid God speak to the Pope in his sleep? The Catholic Church needs to clean up its own backyard first.What about condoms for the control of AIDS?How can these be mortal sins?
ScottTwo words: SPARE ME. I wish the Catholic church would hurry up and acknowledge its own obsolescence.
elizabethI wonder if the Iraq invasion would be considered a mortal sin - the Bible speaks about war mongers. Bush who claims to be a Christian and on a mission might want to read that part of the Bible and repent.
JamesWhat I would like to see is the Catholic Church call all of its past sins, such as cultural and intellectual genocides and its current sins of hatred against homosexuality and supression of women's rights, what they are; attempts by men in robes to dictate how others should live. Similar to the KKK! Coincidence, I think not.
JackI find this a bit hypocritical. For one, I would like the Vatican to release it's net worth. I believe it is the richest organization in the world. So commenting on gaps in wealth and pontificating about it is laughable. Second, the comment that drugs weaken the mind and obscure intelligence is laughable as well. The Church has grown by brainwashing third world nations. Saying the only escape is salvation and believing in God, rather than helping yourself.
Michael (Ottawa)As a follower of Christ and well versed in His scriptures I find these pronouncements from Rome totally outlandish and completely outside the realm of scripture reference. It's little wonder why our culture rejects "man made religion" when they put out with this sort of stuff. This distorts the gospel message and is not a reflection of Christs message.
SteveThe Church taking the high road when it comes to social injustice. This is the joke of the day, right?
Whop DedoOh...the Catholic Church says its a sin to pollute, well that makes all the difference ! I'm sure China, India and the US will all be on board the Kyoto Express now...Not! Let's file this religious edict with all the past Catholic drible under "I" or "H" for irrelevant or hypocrisy, take your pick.
DMAI guess it is politically correct to bash the Roman Catholic Church today. So be it... freedom of speech and all that, however when critique is aimed at the Jewish or Muslim faiths it is seen as 'Hate propaganda'. I guess it is just a safer alternative for those with a lack of respect for the faith of over 1.086 Billion people worldwide ( I know that 'cause I googled it)
LisaWow, the catholic church finally decided that it's a good idea to show respect to the earth. How novel. Maybe now that they got that tidbit of enlightenment out of the way, they can start working on making amends for their own sins. What a crock!
StefanWow, I find it incredible how fast people are to attack the church. Please tell me something that was so incredible ludicrous and wrong about the Vatican's statement? People are very quick to hold a grudge against an institution that has admitted its failings and publicly apologized for its sins of the past centuries. If people are in our society are as tolerant as they claim to be, perhaps they should be open to other points of view.
JBWhile the church may not be perfect (far from it) does that make asking people to better humanity moot? Encouraging people to treat themselves and others with respect, encouraging a clean environment, etc., is always good, isn't it?
george h.Has science gone too far? Is science trying to defeat nature. Is science taking away faith? My opinion yes. Trying to extend life, with quality of life at the back ground. Has mankind done enough to destroy nature. Yes, technology is destroying, peace, compassion, respect, the art of giving (the secrets to happiness). Communication has become bit and bytes. not heart and soul. Work longer rush here rush their, no time to smile at each other, no time to care, finding happiness in material things take don't even matter. Big homes that keep families farther apart. Trying to be first, why we are all going to pass on sooner or later. Why be in a rush? Then it won't matter. When it come down to it no science in the world is going to make you happy on your death bed. But having to say I spent time being good, helping people, giving to others respecting everybody for who they are, that is what will make you happy and successful. Not fighting against the laws of life. Religion and science the razors edge.Someday they will meet for the better. But until we look at both together, science will destroy faith and it's own work. Is already started. Just for the record, I am not of religious faith. I'm just a man that is finding happiness through faith in the goodness of mankind.Health and happiness to all.P.S. A question to ponder. What brings pleasure to you. Hearing about new technology or hearing about someone saving a life. Now be honest.
FreakAlertNext to a global central banking scheme, a corporate governance system of human control, the Vatican is one of the most corrupt institutions history has seen and lived under.Interesting, Washington DC(power), The City of London(money), and the Vatican(religion), all three have a standing obelisk monument.
BillI'm not much of a religious person but I do believe in "Freedom of Religion", instead of bashing choose another religion.
Mikey GCatholism,First the priests have to be celebate. Then all things that aren't biblical are sins. Next we need to find patience and forgiveness for priests that bugger our children. Historically, a priest on a voyage was nothing more than an ethics guide with fear factor. Many people live in fear of hell. Personally, I think spirituality is internal, which does not need a church. I remember working through an aircraft disaster, and the priest said that God needed them. Lack of words that day Padre? What....was he throwing a cocktail party and needed more help? I am sick of the philisophically self-perceptive rhetoric of theology reading what the Bible "really" meant to say". The Bible is an old story with non-scientific entity's. Immaculate conception, dividing of water, rocks to fish, water to wine...why? What's wrong with water? The Vatican is story central. No one knows if there's a heaven. Anyone that does has not returned to spill the beans. Now, not being green is a sin. I call these sins of convenieince. By the way...I wonder what the power bill is at the Vatican ?
davey boyI see a church that means well but seems to be a little behind and spinning it's wheels. That's what happens when a church is led by man and not divine revelation.
KenI wish that we could send all of the above comments to the Vatican.
Scott L.It's very interesting to see the very widespread anti-Christian, particularly anti-Catholic, attitudes so prevalent today. It's no surprise since society as a whole has exchanged the truth for a lie, absolute truth for relativism, God for the worship of individualism. Remember it is Christ which makes the Church holy and not people who make it holy. If that were the case, then this world in its entirety would be condemned to Hell.
DeanNo - what is really sad is that all of these people are so insecure in terms of what they themselves believe in that they wasted their time posting here and condemming those that choose to have faith and belief. What did Christ say - let s/he who is fee of sin cast the first stone? Very sad commentary on the bitterness and lack of depth of character for many who have commented here.A person of faith who knows that not all is right with the world.Dean
David #1Did the pope forget to add wearing extravagant designer footwear as in the "Prada" shoes he wears? With the cost of those shoes he could probably use that money to feed 5 families their evening meal. Even Jesus made due with sandals.
JeremyYou know what else weakens the mind and obscures intelligence? Religion does, Catholicism in particular.
Henry WysmulekActually, most of these new ones are already covered by the original moral laws.But who needs moral laws when Humanity has become such an enlightened species now that we are in the 21st century.We've already solved all our social, sexual, moral ills!So who needs religion telling us what's right or wrong!
BradHa, I always thought it was the Catholic Church that weakened the mind and obscured intelligence. I think it is funny how the church can decide any time it wants, what is acceptable and what is not. No wonder that people are losing faith in religion.
Mary AnnEvery time stuff like this comes out, I understand more and more why I left the Catholic church and never raised my children catholic(or any other religon). The vaticans wealth, jewelry, art alone could help poor countries. The church I found to be "do as I say not as I do"
AnthonyThe Vatican has unveiled some new sins for the 21st Century, such as genetic manipulation, pollution and social injustice...Not bad for an organisation which in the past certainly had not been very egalitarian. As for genetic research - they are way out - and pollution - maybe they should make a decree prohibiting Italians drive their Fiats like nuts... Won't go to the church this sunday either..
StephenI am saddened but not surprised by the comments I have read here today. Our biggest single problem today is the we have turned our backs on God and His church and embraced worship of the self as god of the new millenium. As to newsworthy news, perhaps we should give our email and blogs a rest and pick up a Bible. May God bless us all.
DawnHow can they 'create new sins' when they don't allow for any free thought on the book they base an entire religion on? I really want to know the 900 number they call God on to get all these nifty little updates. I have a few questions for him myself.
Paul GriffithsI'm always amused to see the way people rail against the Catholic Church with ludicrous generalizations and arrogant condemnations. They did the same sort of thing to Christ.The Church will always be relevant because the truth will never die. Our smallish human desires and winds of doctrine are meaningless diversions from the truth of Christ. Our modern culture is so steeped in sin and self-righteousness, it's little surprise that the Church takes so much flak.
SallyIt is a sin to pollute, it's in the Bible God will ruin those ruining the earth.
PatriciaI was born and raised a Catholic but at the age of thirteen a priest in the confessional invited me over to the rectory to talk further about my sins. Luckily for me, my mother told me that I would do no such thing. I have not been to confession since, nor do I pracice Roman Catholicism. However, I believe in God, a non punishing and kind God, and pray regularly.
DougI doubt many people think the Vatican as a real authority.But,if you forget the source and just consider the list,it's not totally out of line.It's been said that "if you like someone,everything they do is OK.If you don't like them,nothing they do will be satisfactory.Is it possible some are dismissing the ideas simply because they don't like the Catholic Church? Aren't ideas worth considering no matter where they come from?Personally,I am not a person of deep faith.I do,however,find there are teachings in many faiths that could make this a better world.I just take out the religious aspect,and use them to try to make myself a better person.I think it's possible we need ALL the help we can get in our efforts to reduce crime,alcoholism,child abuse,hunger,etc,etc.How rational is it to dismiss ANYONE who wants to help promote effective advancements on any of these social concerns? If real progress is to be made,we will need ALL kinds of people,in EVERY area of endeavour.Dismiss the church,if you dislike them so much.Just "don't throw the baby out with the bathwater".
Joanne from BarrieWow, just the fact that people kneel and kiss the ring of the Pope is enough to break my heart. Scads of third world nation villages could be fed for years if the Pope would just SELL that ring and feed them.Number two on my heart breaker hit list is the crimes between Priests and young boys......its a wonder they dont get struck down by lightning for being the hypocrit's that they are.Popes in glass houses, shouldnt throw stones...Sickning
Ki-SomHow about this for a new sin: Priests will not sexually abuse children then have the church protect these criminals.
DarwinWhat a bunch of hooey! Religion has helped with social structure but that's all. The rest of it brainwashes people into believing in superstitions and warps their creative thinking. Millions of people throughout history have been killed and tortured in the name of religion.There is not one shred of evidence of any god or any creator. Time to wise up people, this is the 21 century. Priests have committed 14000 molestations since 1950. They are the worst to listen to. Bush is next. Keep religion out of politics and schools.
GCIf you don’t believe in the Catholic Church or religion as a whole, then why wouldn’t you keep your negative comments to yourself - they serve no useful purpose here. Maybe you should ask yourself what are you doing to create a better world???
TreeclimberJoke: A priest who had been studying ancient texts came up from the Church basement yelling "no, no...the word is CELEBRATE not CELIBATE"Wonder what other things they got wrong LOL
Defender of the Faith!Interesting comments - but the usual uninformed opinions.1. Priests don't fogive sins in the RC Church - they provide the vehicle through which Christ forgives sins.2. There is no "well defined" list because you must consciously understand that you are about to commit a mortal sin - if not then you didn't commit one.3. Its newsworthy because Catholics like to know this stuff - but more so so that secularists can in turn do their own grandstanding about their moral viewpoints - much like they accuse the church of doing4. Hypocrisy happens every day - by eveyone on this earth - the Church is full of humans - when was the last time you told your kid not to do something that you in turn do yourself all the time? Doesn't have an impact on the questions at all.5. Sex crimes against children is already a serious sin obviously.6.Moral Authority has nothing to do with your past immoralities - see #46. John Paul II condemned the invasion of Iraq. All popes of the 20 21st centuries sought peacfeul resolutions to world conflict - some were condemned for it! (Pius XII)7. The ol' net worth argument is truly laughable. The RC Church has the largest membership of any other world religion but people would like it if the Vatican operated out of a shoebox or something. The RC Church is also the single largest Charity in the entire world - look it up!
JenniferCut out the unneeded middle man and go directly to God.
Joanne from BarrieFor the record.....I do believe in God, however, the Catholic institution is a scary, scary thing.I can believe in God , and teach my children just nicely thank you, but, never, never would I enter a Catholic Church.When my 2nd son was born, my own Prodistant minister would not Christen him, as I was not a member of the congrigation.......can you all hear me.......he turned his back on an infant.I DONT THINK GOD WOULD LIKE THAT!
TimThe things they talk about are wrong but come on now....did god come down and say add these to your list. Is it any wonder why less and less people are following that religion.
GlennI'd like to know how the Pope got this new information from God? Email or phone?
Deacon Thomas J. BulgiaTo Tom Crooze...Read the whole sentence...It says the Priest absolves you of your sins in God's name. He is not absolving you, God is.
SAMI am not here to bash religion. I don't really have an issue with the church wanting a clean world...etc. I just don't like some of the more religious comments found above about it being basically a sin to find happiness in myself and what myself and my family accomplish or have. I find it hard to believe a superior being has let this happen. If this is going to cause me to go to hell then put me on the first train. Religion and faith have cause alot of hatred and violence in the past. I don't find it worth while to pratice such items. I do not look down on anyone who follows a religion but if you can't be happy with yourself because you bought a car and a big tv then I don't want to be part of it. Thanks
Bob WoodI believe in God, but have no part in Organized religion and its hypocracy.My problem with the Roman Catholic Church is that its edicts etc. derive from one man, the Pope. Someone that, declared himself infallible, during the 18th or 19th century. How did he achieve this status? Did God beam it down to him one day? Why not to any of the previous Popes?The Catholic church is an autocracy, which would be better served if the Bishops and Cardinals were allowed to use their God-given intelligence to ponder, discuss and debate these issues to arrive at a majority consensus before making pronouncements.
Mark G.I agree with the Pope.Stem cells can be taken from other sources scientists have discovered and pollution is really unnecessary and is litterally poisoning us and social injustice is the root cause of many terrible things in the world such as war.The world needs a moral compass and the Pope is just one of many good people who try to steer us in the right direction.I appreciate that the Catholic church has been and is somewhat controlling and that many people may resent this,but being a RC is voluntary and the church does not have a monopoly on control.We live in a world where corporations and others control our every day life and many of these enities have few morals.It is the Popes duty to point out things that are destructive to humanity.
GJGC ..I believe most people here are mostly disgusted with the hypocrasy the church exudes.If you hold yourself out to be holier than thou, then expect the comments when it turns out that your organization is responsible for centuries of misery, which includes murder, torture, and child molestation.Never mind that every one of these goes against the 10 commandments, with the exception of the last one (must be a holy loophole). Regardless, my understanding is that God outlines what 'sins' are , not some earthling in a funny hat.Possibly with all the genetics research, we can isolate the gene that somehow seems to eliminate the power of rational thought as it relates to organized religion.
B WI've got an idea, stop jumping on the Church - at least they are saying something about what's going on today. It is newsworthy, it's important, because like it or not, they are leaders in our world, and someone needs to finally stand up about the way the world is heading now. It's not about the Church, it's about the problems in society and the environment today - look past your prejudices for a moment and think about what is being said, not just who is saying it.
IANGod created the world and the Pope feels man can destroy it with global warming or whatever. Well to true believers such a thing isn't possible. Seems we have a secular Pope.
Let the truth come out....Scott L:Biblical theology states that Christ doesn't make any "church" holy, He exchanges mans sins for HIS righteousness and holiness. We only believe, He does the rest. Believers in Christ are the church not buildings or organizations.The comments for the most part here today are accurate. Yes they point out the hypocrisy of the Roman church and rightly so. The Roman church falsely claims to represent the vanguard of the Christian faith. Fact is it isn't the spokesman for Christianity. Rome speaks for Roman Catholics not Christians at large and that difference is important for us who follow Christ not man's religion.
garySins1. for politicians obviously common sense is a sin.2. For subprime defaulters financial responsibility is a sin.And finally for religion in general War and Death is quite obviously not a sin. Vatican would be more apt to cast their stones with alittle more insight!
ValTo Gc We do not have to believe in religion or go to church to do good in this world. I live my life every day without hurting anyone and trying to help who I can and I don't believe in church or religion.
FrankaI will gladly keep my critiques on organized religion to myself the moment organized religion (the Catholic Church included) stops bombarding me with their propaganda. I will keep my comments to myself when I am no longer accosted in the street and bothered in my home home by religeous zealouts trying to convert me. I will no longet critique the church when it stops trying to control the lives of everyone through public policy. If you believe in the church and choose to live by its doctrines, then do so, but stop trying to convince/force the rest of us to do so as-well. If people truly believed in the church, they would see it's faults as well as well as it's virtues and would be detrmined to unciver its mistakes and work on correcting them instead of hiding them under a web of secrecy. If you believe in your institution, let it be transparent for ua all to see the virtue you say it has. I believe in God and I believe that he cringes at the hypocrisy of institutions that claim his name.
JDFolks, H Y P O C R I S Y - please spell it right... and while I'm at it: Protestant, Congregation. God Bless!
MelissaThey should add "Pre-emptive War" to sins for the new century.
cloHow sad to see so many people so ignorant of and so angry with the Catholic Church. Why don't you attend a Mass with an open mind to see what the Church teaches - love, forgiveness, how to carry our 'crosses' and help others carry theirs. We try our best, but we are not perfect - none of us are. Come and see for yourself before you cast stones.
Forgive us allSeems to me it is easy to bash a faith and make excuses for not having to follow it, or at least an easy way to feel justified on not having to follow any moral compass at all. Yes the history is jaded, but maybe if you all looked into some of the good aspects of the Catholic faith and it's people you would find much good is derived by following this faith, as in others, as well. Maybe we should all worry more about our own paths instead of just writing off something you may not fully understand or are to lazy to look into more than what you hear in the media. Much of the Catholic faith is based on forgiveness, maybe you could all try it.
KLSAs a Roman Catholic who gave up on the church and it's archaic ''because I said so'' mentality long time ago, it appears to me that the Vatican is now targeting the middle and upper classes of the world, making up new sins that people with money are supposed to feel guilty about. Genetic manipulation means little to the poor and impoverished as advances in this area cost money and the poor are not the ones who can afford to benefit from it. The poor and impoverished are not typically the ones responsible for polluting the earth and it's atmosphere to the point of climate change. And clearly, since you can't have less than nothing, if it weren't for the rich getting richer, there wouldn't be the gap between rich and poor creating the unbearable social injustic which they say is now a sin. I'd like to see how the Vatican would get along without the financial support of the middle to upper classes.
Ryan I am encouraged by some of the comments written here by my fellow Canadians. It is nice to know that there are logical people in this Country. Religion is an insult to one's intelligence. I remembered a quote I had read while reading everyone's comments; "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.”
AlyssaThe demise of the traditional family unit through the greed of lawyers and abuses by judges in Family Court was left off the list. The children become the abused victim by the system's sins. Social change that honors fathers is needed.
ScottTo "clo" and "Forgive us all" - How absolutely repugnant that you immediately assume that because people here disagree with, or even outright despise the Catholic Church, that we are somehow "uneducated" and "immoral". THIS is why we are so against your religion! I was raised Catholic I'll have you know, and that is why I despise that religion - because you Catholics literally think you have a monopoly on morals. That, in and of itself, is utterly immoral, because it means you have a swelled sense of arrogance, which, by the way, is one of the seven deadly sins (pride). I hope you remember that this Sunday when you are asking a MAN to forgive your sins.
JesusLove one another.....please.
A ticket to heaven?Catholics are taught from an early age that RC membership their ticket to heaven... that is FALSE along with a lot of other teachings they adhere to as tradition. If people only took the time to read the scriptures for themselves they would see just how far the Roman church and others have deviated from the gospel message. The devil isn't stupid.. get the people to reject man made religion and its hypocrisy and they will reject Christ in the process. Fortunately God is smarter than that.
JakeHow can so many believe in a religion that has been proven wrong so many times… From the Sun revolving around the earth, to shunning something as transparent, and divine as evolution, to the earth being less than a few thousand years old. The only thing they haven’t had to turn around on is the God itself, that’s because we’ve yet to prove he doesn’t exist either. So if you do feel inclined to line the Roman coffer with your money, go, confess, and pay for your sins. I’ll recycle, and be good to my brothers and sisters; I don’t need to fear damnation to be a good human, thanks for the offer though!
Victor Only Jesus was without sin, and not any of his followers. That includes all Christian faiths. I can see that attacking on this particular thread is very fashionable.If it were a story about Muslims or Jews it would have had no opportunity for responses and would have been closed off.Tolerate those that are not the same as you, or you hate.If your hearts are really hard on the words coming out of the Vatican on this matter than you are not really paying attention.Funny, when a lying politician talks about the Environment, he/she doesn't get this type of hate responses.

2008-02-20T08:32:00.001-08:00

Has it really been 4 MONTHS! Officially I am lost in the maze of large nursing textbooks-and materials like long syringes (hehe) and various tubes with multiple purposes....the things we do to people! (ILOVEIT)

What the HELL!

2007-10-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, so Malibu is burning. 500 homes destroyed by fire, roughly 500,000 people evacuated. Result: a personal comment and pledge from Bush for Federal aid! A state of emergency declared. Free YOGA and RELAXATION classes for those displaced. And a statement made on international television that, "We have learned from Hurricane Katrina-and the same mistake's will not happen again."

I repeat...what the HELL!!!!!!!

Malibu 500homes destroyed-500,000 people TEMPORARILY displaced
Orlando-hundreds of thousands of homes destroyed- Millions PERMANENTLY displaced!

Malibu- high class majority white.
Orlando-majority (effected) African American poor.

Need I say more.

Grind

2007-09-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

Well thats it back to the grind, and how I long for the beaches of Samoa! This year is rather crazy, school mon-tues-wed, hospital thurs-friday, work sat-sun. Time for me...nil. I recognize that perhaps I should quite my beloved job, but thats just it, I LOVE IT! Sat/sun are so rewarding and refreshing, even as 12hr shifts.

So whats needed, prayer. Mostly for Jacob and Pat as I have become the late night goodnight bidder over a mountain of techinical medical textbooks. speaking of which.......

Long Beach Pics

2007-08-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

Deliverence

2007-08-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

A friend I grew up with/ went to school with died last week. She was 28 my age. She died from the complications of long term anorexia. At one time I too gave into such thought patterns and became addicted. But I persevered, formed new habits and became "delivered" as a christian view point would suggest. But really, the term deliverance means to be freed from the bondage of slavery. Everyday I am bound by the choices presented by free will; some morally correct-others not so. So in fact, I am not delivered but rather I am maintaining some form of half deliverence in this free willed life. Yet my friend who is now gone, is truly delivered...from addiction and the common struggles of life.

My high school friend was an avid competitor....she has won. She succeeded in carrying out the actions, obsessions and thought processes of anorexia. But as one visit I recall she begged and promised to strive for deliverance from her addiction through life. She has succeeded (though in death)and I rejoice in her deliverance though her memory will persist of a brilliant mind and a very caring individual who constantly seemed to seek out those in need of care and atension; which she gave unselfishly.

Update

2007-07-15T23:02:00.000-07:00

It is all grand. I am home, like really home and facing reality. Work. Future school. Student loan. Wow how I long for the bright blue beaches of Samoa! Thank God for such an increadible few months. Pat Jacob and I headed off to explore the western United States for three weeks. Our travels were safe and we quite enjoyed ourselves. By far our day trip into Mexico was a highlight. But alas, work begins tomorrow. Pictures to come.

From all my travels I have learned one very important things about myself:

#1 i HATE bugs.

Clinics

2007-06-03T00:14:00.001-07:00

I can't believe it has been only a week since Eua island, when so much has happened. This last week we spent one day each at four different clinics around Tongatapu. Tuesday I stayed at the hospital and worked in the emergency department and outpatient. What and experience! I actually got to do the vitals on patients coming in as the triage nurse! We also saw one man come in with a broken tibia and fibia. That was fascinating. Once the Tongan nurses left the room the patient and his brother turned to us and said, "You guys are the Canadian nurses?" I guess we are famous...haha. Wednesday we headed out to a far off clinic in a village called Mua. There we did dressing changes and then went out with the nurse in her van as she made house calls....That is, she slowed down in front of the houses of her patients and yelled out her window at them. We did get out once to see a patient that was a paraplegic. Also on the rounds she would pull up to peoples houses that she new and instructed them to go pick coconuts, sugar cane, and papaya's for us. What a treat! Then, she took us on a tour of the island....hard day at work! Thursday we worked at the diabetic clinic. After seeing a few patients they took us out to another village far from the hospital. Unfortunately I forgot my e-pi pens at the hospital so after I spotted three wasps in the room I was in, I chose to sit in the van...that sucked! Friday we went to another clinic where we watched the nurse give cortisone treatment, Ventolin to an 8 week old baby....it was cool. Then at 3:00pm, it was official; first year of nursing complete! I am now a second year nursing student...YAHOOO! Which meant a night of celebrating.

Saturday the nursing students here took us out to the beach for a FEAST! Amazing incredible food. Then today, we went out in a catamaran to an island off the coast....beautiful resort, excellent food, great beach...could not have asked for anything more! In there somewhere I got sick, I think I might have a parasite...nice :) But all is well, nursing year one is complete, and we leave Tonga on Wednesday :(

Eua Island

2007-05-27T16:32:00.000-07:00

We have just returned home to Tonga's main island from another large island off the south/east corner Tonga. What and incredible adventure! It began with a 2 1/2 hour "ferry" ride. The ferry resembled a larger trolling fishing boat and as it had to cross a five mile trench (called the Tongan Trench) it was very very wavy! We sat on the top of the boat and hung on as we were tossed forward, back and far to each side. Watching the large rollers take over our boat was intimidating but completely exciting and adventurous!

Eua island is a steeper island full of tropical rain forest that is home to parrots and a herd of wild horses! We stayed at "The Hide away" in these fala cabins. Honestly....the mould was putrid, there were no mosquito nets and many many bugs of all sorts....and many very large spiders! i chickened out and slept in a smaller room that was very clean and "bug free". But three of us had to sneak in there late at night and leave early in the morning as we were not willing to pay extra for the room...I guess that's the Tongan way! Still, we got away with it. And the food.....WAS AMAZING!

On Sunday we took an 8hr tour of the island. Best day EVER! We saw sink holes that were 150 meters deep with a beautiful waterfall going straight down into it, under ground rivers bubbling up...and disappearing, cave like sink holes, a natural land bridge, sharp cliffs, wild horses, human remains inside a cave on the edge of a cliff, beautiful beaches......and enormous tropical trees that I cannot remember the name of at the moment. For this 8 hr adventure five of us sat in the back of a pick up truck while our driver drove through a tropical paradise, and even went 4X4ing. At one point I was ready to bail out of the truck as our driver drove us straight up and down rolling hills toward the edge of a 200 meter cliff...AHHHH! It was at this place that we saw the herd of wild horses. In all the Eua tour and 4 day adventure was a great success...now back to work for our four last days of practicum.

Oh yes...best moment of the adventure, was playing spoons with our group including our instructors. Who ever lost each round had to drink a shot if tequila or rum. We went through two bottles and I do believe that our two instructors ended up drinking the most. At one point one of our instructors got up on the table to imitate a "dead bug" pose. The next minute she was down on the ground talking to a cochroach.....very.....very ....very funny :) I only managed to take one shot and by default at that!

Tonga: week 3 Pictures

2007-05-23T22:28:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=23498&l=6b723&id=763685197

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=23506&l=efa31&id=763685197

2007-05-20T00:19:00.000-07:00

I guess its about time for another update. What a week it has been.....where to start?

Wednesday and Thursday of last week I started working on a new ward in the hospital. This ward is apart of the old hospital building and mould is crawling up the walls and curtains that surround patients beds. I began working with a new patient who had seriously life threatening low potassium and sodium levels. Her heart was a mess and her stomach and intestine's had stopped functioning. Crazy thing was....the reason for her near death state was due to the hospital giving twice the dosage of a medication that flushed these vital electrolytes from her body. Potassium was being given to this lady at three times the "normal" rate for someone with an electrolyte imbalance to save her. The whole time the patient and her family was left in the dark never being informed of the reason for her condition, in fact; the patient and her family believed her to have a stomach ulcer...harsh. Of course being the nurse it is not my position to disclose any information to her, rather I confirmed with the patient the clinical reason for her condition and explained what treatment she was receiving clearing up the whole ulcer belief. By the next day her heart arrhythmia was better and her stomach pains had lessened. Still, I was left with ethical questions. There was no record in her chart or in discussion with the hospital staff of the medication error. Its like it never happened even though this lady could have lost her life. It makes me wonder how this situation would have been treated in Canada. Generally speaking, Tongans don't seem to seek answers; they wait until someone informs them of information.

Thursday night we went over to an English Gentleman's house for a night of Cava drinking. It wasn't really a cultural experience though there was some Tongan dancing and of course; cava drinking. On a whole I was not overly impressed. A few of our girls ended up buying a few kilo's of cava to take home with them.

Friday morning we left for the resort island of Atata (Royal Sands Resort) which was a half hour boat ride off of the main island that we are living on. What luxury! We shared four girls to a fala (luxury like cabin) that had running water, flushing toilets, a fridge, coffee and even hot showers. I think we had forgotten how we have been roughing it. For three days straight we sunbathed, kayaks, snorkel and swam. Each day a boat would take us out to a coral reef for more adventurous snorkeling. I have never seen anything like it! Hundreds and hundreds of fish or all shapes sizes and brilliant colors. At one point I was in awe of the schools of fish surrounding me when out of the murky blue a shark came sauntering around closer to the bottom of the ocean!!!!! At first I thought I was seeing things, then I watched in shock and amazement....then I totally freaked out. Another girl with me saw the shark as well and we kinda got out of there pretty fast. Now in hindsight, I guess we were more afraid of the stigma that goes with a shark and we were in no danger at all. I am not good at judging the size but I would guess it was about 3 1/2 to 4 feet long and a light grey color. We also snorkeled around giant clam beds. Some of these monstrous clams would have easily provided me a nice shell to curl up in...(though it would have eaten me alive!).

In all it was a grand experience with one exception. Growing up on the ocean I think I became a little cocky and ventured out too far while snorkeling from shore. Myself and a friend snorkeled across the lagoon and over a smaller reef that attached to a point of the island, it was farther that it appeared. As the reef shallowed the current picked up especially considering the tide was going out, thus all the water from the lagoon was making its way over this reef and out to open ocean. There was also a channel beyond the reef that carried quiet the current. I guess I am not as good of swimmer as I used to be. I reached the reef and a little beyond fine but when we turned around to go back....I realized the danger I had gotten myself into. We immediately felt the strong current, I was exhausted from snorkeling so far out in the first place, and there was no place shallow enough to rest at this point. I began swimming toward the shore and felt the struggle ahead, at that point my flipper slid off and I grabbed it before I lost it completely. Then I completely panicked and realized that if I didn't get my cool together I could easily be taken out into the open ocean, and I was too tired to swim. I swam around searching for a coral reef that reached higher up to the surface while calling out to my friend who was a bit away from me. Thank God....I found a piece of coral just shallow enough that I would stand on it with my head still above water. There I calmed down and my friend came to me. She recommended that she swim while I hang on to her foot and she would pull me. But even standing there the current was hard to fight. I really thought I was not going to make it back to shore. There was a deep gully before the lagoon would start to shallow and I did not know if I had the energy to swim again the current to a place where I could eventually rest. I prayed, I actually peed myself from fright and the thought of drowning, then my adrenaline kicked in. I swam with all my might again the wind, white caps and current about forty feet where I found one more piece of coral high enough to rest on. From there I swam with all my might until the current lessened. Even though we could not yet touch down, I knew I would make it back to shore.

Now looking back, I do NOT find this adventure humorous. It was sheer stupidity on my part. There was one point in the strong current that I tried swimming on my back to rest. Within seconds the current turned me the other direction and I was swimming out to sea! The girl with me called out and set me straight.

The funny thing, the whole time I was out there I could hear Pat telling me off. I seem to have a habit of getting into precarious situations. So thats the adventure for now. Next weekend we are heading to another island that has somegreat hiking in the rain forest....nice solid ground!

More Pictures

2007-05-14T03:59:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=21016&l=a14af&id=763685197

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=21011&l=194a1&id=763685197

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=21003&l=06526&id=763685197

Oh yes....I just came back from obstetrics where I watched two Tongan babies being born.....WOW!

Week Two

2007-05-13T19:39:00.000-07:00

We have been without Internet for four days now, and with out our only connection to Canada, I am definitely feeling a little on the homesick side. Thursday night we had all the Tongan nursing students over for cake and ice cream. Friday during our day off we again headed out to a resort island and further browned ourselves. Then Friday night the Tongan nursing students took us out to a Tongan night club. What a blast! I actually danced most of the time and had a wonderful time. Saturday we spent rummaging through market places and Sunday we took a day long tour of the main island. I will add a couple of links of the new pictures as there was breathtaking scenery. My favorite by far was the "blow holes." The open Pacific crashes in to a ridge not far from the shore. There are holes in the ridge and the underwater waves comes spouting up and crashing over the ridge. It was so beautiful and looking down the coast all you could see was white water crashing up the ridge. Monday morning, back in the hospital where I begin with a new patient. She is only 38 and has a very large tumor in her right breast and in her uterus. Her uterus tumor is the size of a five month pregnancy. The woman is scared thus is refusing surgery, regardless of her decision she is deemed palliative. I find it very sad and difficult to observe and care for here, she is so kind and gentle. This week is mid term evaluations and this weekend we are heading out to another resort island where we will spend the night. I hope all is well, I am settled, but missing home and family.

PICTURES

2007-05-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

I just discovered that I can post a link here to my facebook where anyone can view the photo albums. I'll post the links below and from now on when I make a new one. ENJOY!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=18831&l=02d40&id=763685197

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=19002&l=1e3de&id=763685197

2007-05-09T19:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in the hospital I had the opportunity to help a new patient with pre-op (meaning preparing her for surgery). I observed two catheters being inserted and walked my patient through the series of questions and procedures. Then I was asked to accompany her through her surgery in the OR!!!!!!!!!!! My patient was having a laporoptomy and having her ovary removed. While waiting in the surgical waiting area an OR doctor came out to introduce himself to me and bring me into the back to get dressed in a mask hair net, shoe covers and OR scrubs. After I was dressed he said, "Follow me, there is something you should see." I obeyed and the doctor took me right into an operating room where they were about to begin a C-section!!!! I could not believe my eyes. I stood at the foot of this patient who was having an emergency C-section. there was nothing obstructing my view and the doctor waited beside me as I watched them cut through the layers of skin, fat, sheath, muscle, sheath and uterus. Finally as they cut into her uterus a wave of blood came as it mixed with amniotic fluid and the products of the placenta. At one time their were 6 hands inside this woman's abdomen and another set of hands holding up her stomach and putting pressure on the baby inside to force it out. Finally with some prying this little head and face came out of her uterus. The staff suctioned the nose and mouth then pulled the rest of the baby out. It was a boy, and he wasted no time taking his first out of utero pee. The staff cut the cord and transported the infant to another table where they gave it O2 and washed it off. At this point the doctor turned to me and said, "Follow me." From that operating room the doctor took me into the next where genital warts were being removed. This patient was in stirrups and under general anesthetic. The warts were very flat and large and were spreading into her vagina. The surgeon was burning and scrapping them off with some sort of device.

After all this excitement I never did have the opportunity to accompany my patient in for her surgery as I was due back at class and there had been a delay due to the emergency c-section. What an incredible day! Today on the ward I had the opportunity to complete post -op observations with my patient; again, very rewarding.

Aside from the hospital work, all is well here in Tonga. Finally the sun is shining and we are once again sweltering in the heat. We spent the afternoon at the market yesterday purchasing gifts and tomorrow we head back to the beach for yet another day of toasting and snorkeling. I miss home incredibly much and simple things here are starting to rub me the wrong way. We have not had running water in our dorm for days now. This means we must go elsewhere to shower and use the washroom or do dishes. We have also been served sweet potato every mean with the exception of breakfast and one or two suppers so I am feeling a little starched out. We also purchase samosas from the market yesterday, very scary but they were delicious. Thank fully no one suffered any consequences.

Tongan Hospital

2007-05-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

These first couple of days working in the hospital has absolutely stunned me! Here we follow the doctors on rotation and I am working on an acute care surgical ward. The first patient I saw had her right leg almost severed and then reattached. There was a gaping wound where the injury had taken place and her left leg was mangled with open deep wounds. The poor lady would wretch in pain when the doctor removed the dressings or attempted to reposition the right leg that had pins holding it together. There are no road rules here and the next patient I saw was ridding in the back of a pick up truck...(as I have seen a lot) and his bum was hanging out when a passing vehicle going in the other direction torn off his left buttock with its side mirror. I have never seen such a large open wound before, and the doctors and staff were laughing openly at this mans predicament, I felt so bad for him. I saw many patients who had open wounds after their toes, feet, or portions of the legs have been removed due to infection. One lady had a big ulcer where a mouse had bitten her toe causing it to be amputated. I was also present when the doctor informed another patient that she would be loosing her foot. I felt so helpless and Tongans do not like to show pain or hurt.

My first personal patient is 20 years old and is having a miscarriage.........wow. Am I qualified to help her through this, medically, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually? Today I accompanied her to her tests which confirmed a complete abortion (natural). She was very open with me and respected me as a nurse with authority...but I am only a student. I love the people here as they are so incredibly gentle and honest with their circumstances. At the same time, I am in shock of the scenes I have witnessed. The Chinese are not respected nor welcomed in this country and this attitude was displayed when a Chinese gentlemen with a fracture and open would was admitted. Before questions of his condition were asked his passport and status was demanded. For some reason the Tongans blame the riots on the Chinese presence here as well. One of the girls on my team is part Chinese so she befriended him attempting to speak to him in his native language.

On another note, it has been raining incredibly hard here for the past three days which is a nice break from the intense heat. We spent last weekend on a smaller island off the coast which provided opportunity for snorkeling around coral reefs and an abandoned ship. I swear it was like I was inside those tropical saltwater aquariums back home. There were brightly colored fish on all sides of me when I was around the ship and I even saw an Eal in the coral. I still can not believe how warm the water is here.

I have posted a bunch of pictures on my facebook account so you can see them there. Oh, yes. We attended the Free Weslyan church here in Tonga...wow best church service I have been to in a LONG time!

Tonga

2007-05-03T21:43:00.000-07:00

After 16 some odd hours in an airplane we arrived in Tonga! It is absolutley amazing, very humid and hot! Tonga is experiencing many transitions and political tensions right now which is becoming very apparent as we travel around and speak with the residents. Here the country is run by a monarch, meaning a king and his nobels. Everyone else is considered a commoner. All land is owned by the king and he allows commoners to live on portions of the land. Riots broke out here in November and many people were killed and buildings burned as the commoners are angry that they have to submit to the king and his nobles. Basically a nobel can demand anything from a commoner and they have to obey. As of right now there are 800 people awaiting trial for the riots and the economy is suffering. Eggs alone here cost $17 or about $8 canadian! Tonga is leaning toward democracy but as you can imagine, the king and his nobels do not want to give up power. At the same time, many of the large companies and legal system is run by the king so it is proving to be very difficult for change to be implemented. Cultural rules here are facinating as well. Women are not allowed to own land and must be covered neck to ankle! Wow so much for the bikini! (We go out to other beaches where they are acceptable) Brothers and sisters are also not allowed to sit in the same room as each other and the nursing students cannot marry or get pregnant or they are kicked out. At the same time, women are respected in society and are always placed first on a bus for example....interesting! Strangest of all, it is extreemly rude to eat or drink while walking or standing in public! And the concept of time is, "Its just 15 min away" In fact, an hour and a half!

As for our living quarters, they are comfortable though extreemly rustic! The toilets do not flush, we are resposible for providing our own toilet paper, no telephone access for us, the buildings look very old and run down as does the hospital but, it is all clean. The hospital is in the process of rebuilding but the old build has thee condemed floors but the bottom floor is still in use. There are also dogs and pigs running wild all over the place. Tongans eat both! I on the other hand, will not!

There is a line up for the computers so I will update when possible. There is so much to write and even more pictures to share, in time.

11 MORE SLEEPS!!!!!

2007-04-20T19:29:00.000-07:00

Been a while

2007-04-12T19:15:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going through the slack phase cause this blogging thing is just not happening at the moment. Life is extremely wonderful and over whelming at the moment. I leave for Tonga & New Zealand in just over two weeks, and will not return for almost two months: feelings? Excited, thrilled, sad...cause I will really miss Pat and Jacob :( It's also end of semester and I am becoming a little shocked of the school grades. Some how I managed to receive a 95% average, I guess all that hard work is paying off, though I think the standards need to be lowered a little to keep the stress factor in check. We are also planning a Disney land vacation for Pat, Jacob and I when I return from the south pacific soooo ya, life is extraordinarily NUTS!

Pray for Pat and Jacob that they would have a blast while I am gone. Pray that I will not wither away from a "missing family" broken heart and, wow I am in awe of God's faithfulness!

Well, Here it is....

2007-03-31T16:49:00.000-07:00

THE ONLY BRACE FACE PICTURE, for soon, they will be no more :o)

Hope...that someday, it will in fact, stop raining?

2007-03-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

Life is good :)

2007-03-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

What can I say: its been a while, but life is good, God is great.

During clinical I had the opportunity of observing the preparation of an elderly woman who was 4 hours post death. As she lay there totally organic and lifeless smelling of something foul I have never before breathed, I was calm. I realized that some day my body would be lying in the same state, dead. I looked closely at the woman's eyes which remained visible as her lids remained a little open (as did her mouth), and I even held her stiff, cold hand; it was a surreal experience. But, I'm totally okay with this, actually aside from the smell I was totally excited. I am relieved that I have a Saviour and faith that contains hope of eternal life, for with out it, this experience would have been mortifying.

In other news, the count down is on:

33 days till my last exam is complete,
44 days until I hop on a plane for Tonga and New Zealand,
98 days until I am reunited with my family and head for Disneyland and,

most importantly,
16 days till the brace face comes off,

p.s. rigamorgis is very interesting!

2007-03-05T13:23:00.000-08:00

I've thought a lot lately about God's faithfulness. I have cried to God explaining away my pathetic state accentuating the need for God to reach out to me "for a change." I rationalize that I am in no position to be running to him, rather he must come find me, pick me out of the slum and carry me to a safe secure place. And yet, with my stubborn demands, my God has done just this.

I have not broken in years. Yet many occasions for brokenness have occurred since any last confession of brokenness. The last time I broke I was in War college, others were holding my hands in the air as Moses's when he no longer had the strength for the battle to be won. So much has been left "undone" because God has carried me out of the slum. He has been more than faithful and I am in awe of the blessings he is pouring out over my head, and my family's. Now that I am standing on my own two feet, I recognize that now is a time for brokenness, because standing with out it is an image of deceit. Moses stood, yet others supported him in his exhaustion. I fear brokenness and as a result, I avoid God or anyone who would keep me accountable because now its my turn to play a part in my rescue from sin.

so many words--but pride keeps me silent.

More Random Pics

2007-02-18T10:13:00.000-08:00

Chella and I invaded boys game night. We won too:)

Time Capsule

2007-02-11T23:19:00.000-08:00

I am not one to keep journals, but there was a time in my life that I had. Tonight, while Pat was out saving a life (this is quickly becoming a trend) I found an old journal filled with prayers for Uganda, poems, songs and odds and ends. I was like 12 when I wrote this:)

I walked this road

So very long ago

to show you the way

so you would find

I walked this road

with holes in my hands and feet

to make the way

come follow me

No, you are not alone

you will be free indeed

the journey begins,

and ends with me

A million miles

it starts with a step or two

what are you waiting for?

I am waiting for you

You run the race

Thinking your almost done

then you may find

you've only just begun

Your on the road

thinking your far from here

and suddenly you find

I am very near

Wow, this next one is.......umm ya. My parents had just divorced and I think I was trying to make sense of it all. I must have been 10 or 11. I remember singing this song (I had written piano music for it) in church and at summer camps.

There was a place that once was called a home

And a family lived there too

They prayed each day and walked his way

But no one really knew

They had hurts that were too deep

they cut and stung the heart

Then one day with tears and cries

that family fell apart

And the children they were suffering

cause there was nothing they could do

As they watched their family tear in two

and they cried, Jesus why?

Is this part of your great plan

is it out of your control

children are suffering they cry out to you

why do you not come?

Jesus' words were kind and soft

did I tell you about that lonely man

his life was cruel he had no hope

he drank through out the night

There was no love inside his heart

his body needed drugs

then one day he met the lady from that torn family

And she showed him how to love again

she took away all of his pain

his soul took in the word of God

and his heart was never the same

Jesus said unto us all

all of the suffering and pain

hurts him more than he can bare,

one more soul is saved tonight

Jesus I don't understand

why bad things must take place

but in the end, your love shines through

and your glad you made it through

That torn family had now adapted

to the change that took a toll

opportunities opened up

that never would have opened before

So now listen to me carefully

cause what I say now is true

nothing is impossible

if you've got Jesus on your side

Don't be afraid to shed your love

so many people left unreached

pray to Jesus, he's the answer

one more soul is saved tonight.

I think I must have been a little warrior.

8 Weeks in Paradise

2007-02-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

Leave date is April 29th, return date sometime in late June /early July

As beautiful and exciting as this all is, I will miss my boys....and Chella. If your around please check on the boys to make sure they are being watered and fed

you know how bachelors can get!

Student Nurse Robin

2007-02-02T11:08:00.000-08:00

It's Official

Blood

2007-01-31T21:43:00.000-08:00

A Jehovah Wittiness couple in British Columbia resort to the highly controversial In vitro fertilization to conceive there much desired child. Of course...they end up with 6, that is sextuplets. All 6 of the newborns are small and sick some needing a blood transfusion to survive. Jehovah Witnesses do not believe in blood transfusions based on Acts 15:29:

For it has seemed food to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay on you no great burden than these requirements: that you abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols, and from blood, and from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality.

One new born dies, then another. Finally the government steps in and removes three of the now quadruplets to save their lives via blood transfusion. The parents hire a lawyer and complain, the government apologizes and hands custody of the children back over to the Jehovah Wittiness couple.

I just don't get it.

In vitro fertilization---okay. Blood transfusion----no.

I wonder if God would consider sex (creation of a human being) in a petri dish as sexually imoral?

YAHOO TONGA! :)

2007-01-26T11:02:00.000-08:00

ITS OFFICIAL I AM GOING TO TONGA FOR 6 WEEKS! PRAISE GOD!

I think a little adventure is necessary in Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, or Fiji afterwards!

Details to come:)

Anxiety--Peace

2007-01-19T09:43:00.000-08:00

Anxiety is not from God....peace is. Now is a time of anxiety. I recognize that the anxiety I feel is created from my own mind, as behind it, deep with in I have godly peace. The calling in my life has been clear since I was young, it has developed and grown more fully, and a few trips of lack of obedience have held me up on the way. But, alas..I am being obedient, and God is proving his faithfulness-thus the peace I feel inside. In regards to human anxiety--in one week I will know where (or if...but I have faith) on this foot trodden earth God will take me as a reward for my obedience, I am positive this is a reward! For when given the opportunity to witness in a way that I have dreamed of and been called to since I was 16 is truly a reward after many instances of stubbornness and strong headed foolish disobedient endeavors.

In less than a week I will find out if I will be nursing in Namibia Africa, Tonga, India, or the Philippians. May God have his will, I have peace regardless where he sends me, and look forward to a little travel play afterward.

I know, O LORD, that the way of man is not in himself,

that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps.

Correct me, O LORD, but in justice;

not in your anger lest you bring me to nothing.

Jeremiah 10:23-24

This is my favorite verse of all time, and extremely relevant at this time. God is in control of my steps, and I leave them for Him to direct. Yet I am human and full of fault. My God is sovereign and reigns in justice, He has the power to remove everything from me including my life. This verse is a plea, for justice and mercy, for if God were to judge me harshly on mistakes of the past I would be reduced to nothing. Yet I am a willing servant, and I pray that in mercy and grace He give me the opportunity to serve him in the way he has set out for me.

SNOW DAY

2007-01-14T20:46:00.000-08:00

We definitely do not get very many of these, so Jacob came to school with me for a morning class then we hit the big sledding slope....Beacon Hill. Beautiful view!

Jacob made this snowman all on his own, quite proud.

This is Mandy (school friend), and the pre-"I'm going to beat you little ass down this hill" pose.

Your on! (I kicked her butt and got taken out by a snowman at the bottom of the hill)
Best of all! Some smart person built a luge (bobsled track) down the slope...very very fast! Some guys were even racing down the hill in a kayak (Islanders). We were fools and all piled on one crazy carpet....ouch.

Serotonin

2007-01-12T12:24:00.000-08:00

I have always wondered why it is that some individuals who suffer from depression resort to "cutting." I always assumed it was to create physical pain as an explanation for the unexplained depression that individuals suffer from. When your skin is cut (weather on purpose or not) your platelets gather at the cut to begin the blood clotting and healing process. One of the major functions of platelets, aside from creating a temporary plug, is to secrete serotonin.

That's amazing! So "cutting" is more than a psychological action, rather it actually physically produces a neurotransmitter that in lacking causes depression.

This information is purely for interest sake and I am not suggesting by any means that it is okay for anyone to cut themselves when feeling blue!

Winter Storms...Ode to NewFoundland :(

2007-01-07T18:04:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love wind storms, but I think its getting a little excessive! We went down to the break water and Dallas Road today in the 90km wind.

Jacob could not stand and I was hanging on to my hat for dear life!

Standing over the break wall was a blast. We saw the big ones coming but never escaped in time.....absolutely saturated!

Strange place for a cemetery....I mean who cares about the view if your DEAD!

2007-01-07T15:18:00.000-08:00

I had the opportunity to attend a Nigerian church plant here in Victoria. How interesting and incredible is that! Africa is on fire compared to Canada (from my experience) and this church plant seems to be well received. Before the worship began the pastor taught an hour long bible study. This morning it was on God's anointing and how if you follow you human head and not God's will His anointing will be removed. The pastor used King Saul as one of many examples. If your anointing has been removed due to human disobedience then how can one claim themselves a christian? The study was hard truth dolled out honestly and forthright. I was so excited to hear the sermon if this was the pre-church study...sadly when the rest of the congregation gathered the pastor preached on how God knows who you are, where you live and how many hairs are on your head. He also tended to take biblical metaphors literal. Aside from the meat to baby food feeding, the worship was uplifting and a breath of fresh air.

Here's some skating pics,

Jacob thought the ice for the snow cone was made by the Zambodie!

I love kids imagination :)

Scoop

2007-01-02T14:02:00.000-08:00

Amazingly enough I am well...FINALLY! Christmas was incredible, I love my immediate and extended family. Christmas dinner consist of a wonderful thick (accent and size!) German grandfather with his whacked out old fashioned sense of humor, Italian cousins of which on is a rocket scientist and the youngest (8) I swear is a genius, my step mom and father whom where cooking for all of us as they packed up for Mexico (leaving that same day), my wonderful brother and sis-in-law and their rug rats, and my step sister (stage manager). It was a fabulous meal dished out on paper plates (An amazing accomplishment if you have ever had a special dinner at my parents!), except my thick German grandfather had a real plate of course! It was wild to sit back and observe the conversation which consist mostly of the scientific dynamics of a bubble (the 8 year old genius) and the difference between a stone and a rock. Over Christmas my (2nd) step father lost two fingers snow blowing, but got one sewn back on, and my other step father stowed away to Maine with Cheryl his amazing wife. I LOVE MY FAMILY and would not trade them for the world!

Jacob got spoiled with his play mobile castles and Heelie shoes, and of course his cool ride on toy from the Victoria 614 crew. As soon as he opened their amazing gift he turned to them and said, "Is there more?" To which I scolded him and asked him where his manors went to which Jacob turned back to Nicole and Beracah and asked, "Is there more...please?" AAAAHHHHH

The best part of Christmas was not having to play into the whole Santa thing. Jacob understands that Santa is make believe and he whispers in my ear with a grin on his face when ever he hears any child or adult mention that bloated bearded man. Even better is his understanding that it is Christ's birthday. The worst part of Christmas is being sick, three weeks straight from my last exam until, well today (mostly anyways). But this is God and it is good. Lying on the couch, or in bed listening to everyone else have fun has forced some great contemplation and prayer time. Today I quit my job and the church worship team. Contrary to myself image and Pats perspective, I am not super woman! I have felt God pulling on me to leave corporate worship and focus more on a quiet worship relationship for quite sometime, stubborn, but in the end faithful...well not quite yet.

I am not one for newyears resolutions--Actually I appose. But I do have goals for this year. First off is that I will be accepted into the international program and have the privillage of working as a nurse in either Africa, India or Figi. Second, and most importantly, to establish the worship relationship that has been pulling on my heart. Third, go with my family to disney land and hopefully take a stow away or two. And fourth, keep God and family at the front of endevors while finishing out this year of school and starting on the next.

We have no Christmas photo's
We are lame

2006-12-22T19:15:00.000-08:00

Jacob was jumping around on the chairs and singing to himself. I asked him what he was doing to which he replied, "Pretending I'm God." Hmmm. The next words out of his mouth was too inform me that he was choosing to believe in Santa Clause this Christmas even though he knows that he is not real. Then a little later he proceeded to ask me if he could have a brother for Christmas. I told him that maybe we could adopt. He then said, "You mean a little boy with a brown face?"

One conversation with a five year old.... I am stumped.

2006-12-19T10:21:00.000-08:00

Now that schools out I hardly now what to do with myself yet, oddly I haven't had a moment to myself...its great. I love being apart of The Salvation Army around Christmas. Helping out at the toy drives, handing out presents to kids at community gatherings and making food hampers really makes Christmas. Jacob also had his karate Christmas concert. He made me cry I was so proud of that boy! As soon as I figure out how to upload video I'll post his star of the show performance, sanpi made him stand out in front for his part, there were at least 800 people there and Jacob did AWESOME! The black belt demonstrations were pretty encouraging and only at five Jacob is thrilled to go for a black belt.

Jacob's karate creed goes something like..."I am who I am, and what I am has beauty and strength, I believe in me." I believe that this creed has an enormous element of truth, as long as you recognize that God is the source of of who you are. And confidence in yourself as a child of God is necessary for spiritual growth and success in life. As a christian believing in yourself requires believing in God. This has been a huge lesson over the past year. Taking some pretty massive steps that only suceed if you beleive in yourself seems to be a trend for me as of late. God has been faithful, again (and again). I believe in me, only because I am a child of God.

Last one!

2006-12-13T09:35:00.001-08:00

Last exam tomorrow...what can I say.
This semester has been a blast, GPA 7.929/8.0
In January we get to hit the hospitals.
Africa application going off in a couple of weeks :)
(Please pray for that last one)

2006-12-02T11:44:00.000-08:00

I guess is isn't news to anyone that we got snow....so disappointing. Anyways when there's snow their are always pictures.

I love this portrayal of our home.

Okay, this is a funny story. I tossed a load of bread out on the deck to feed those nice little birds that cant find food buried beneath the snow. And what shows up instead, a flock of seagulls. These stupid birds could land on our deck just fine but could not fly up and out. Thus, they thought they were trapped. The only way they got out was through the railing bars! Imagine five fat seagulls squeezing through the railings all at the same time. I almost wet my self from laughing so hard...so I threw an other loaf out their again today...they just never learn. I'm sure this would make a great sermon illustration, but ya, I'm not in the mood.

SWAT

2006-11-25T14:35:00.000-08:00

Im told that it may not be legal to post pictures (that have been lifted off a computer) of a victoria swat team in action...so I won't. But I bet if you concentrate really hard below this script you can imagine what they may look like, perhaps (hypothetically of course) as they invade Pats work (for 6 hours!). Also, I bet if you concentrated real hard you could see 'where's waldo' (he's missing his hat) sauntering through black men holding very big guns.

Just an average day in our very dull lives!

Soggy Leaves

2006-11-10T14:21:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love rainy winter storms as they remind me how fortunate I am to have a cozy warm home tucked away in this awesome city. I also love them as they remind me of those I cannot see at this moment who are cold and wet. It is this later thought that encourages me to push towards the goal God has placed inside to make a difference. God has been gracious and faithful.

Women have this stereotype of wanting little bits of everything, not just one central focus. I believe it has more to do with the ability to have the option to have anything, even if only one thing is your central focus. As we are made in God's image, I believe we get this trait from Him. He desires everything from us and he will use what ever we are willing to hand over for His will. Yet when we hand over are all to God, leaving ourselves bare from a humanistic perspective, God gives back ten-fold what we have offered. I guess that's where we as humans slip up. Usually when multiples are offered, we at least entertain the thought of selfishly taking and exploring our possibilities. In the end though, (personally) I am grateful with the little considered necessities and refuse the unnecessary glamour and attractive possibilities.

I am totally rambling, and procrastinating. I have 7 major papers due and an exam with in the next 2 and a half weeks, yet I'd rather secure my 'option' of writing what I please for no one but myself...hmmm back to that woman thing. (p.s. the spell check was insisting that I replace hmmm with hammy; I prevailed)

I find that there is always a piece of me that I cannot fully categorize, make sense of nor peg down with a specific definition. I heard this song a while back that says it all. Its called Chasing Cars by snow patrol. I posted the lyrics below but they are almost meaningless without the music (kind of like logic with out passion). Down load it; get lost in it; its brilliant; it will blow your mind!

We'll do it all

Everything On our own

We don't need Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lay with me

and just forget the world?

I don't quite know How

to say How I feel

Those three words

I said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lay with me

and just forget the world?

Forget what we're

told Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lay with me

and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes,

they're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things

will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lay with me

and just forget the world?

Body World and Bus rides

2006-11-03T12:05:00.000-08:00

These past few weeks have been full of adventure. This past weekend I returned to an old hood with a few friends, mostly to check out the body world's display at science world. I was not allowed to take pictures and I wish I could describe what I saw in there, GO CHECK IT OUT! They use real corpses that have been manipulated and preserved in many fashions revealing all the insides of human beings. Yes, its controversial, but its totally worth it.

Bella was the only one daring enough to venture with me inside the great dome. She will murder me for posting this picture...Once the crime has been committed I'll remove it.

This is the entrance into the 'baboon' forest.

The kids from Warrior's academy could not pronounce the word 'bamboo', thus why it is called 'baboon forest.'

Its amazing to realize that this piece of paradise is hidden in the midst of the eastside hell.

We stayed at cross culture and had a slumber party...I felt like I was 19 again and even slept with my jeans on, how strange.

Domi, this is for you...

And this one...

...And this one...

...Ok look, how on earth did I end up with so many pictures of you! And who an earth are all these other people...lol!

Warrior's come to Victoria

2006-10-31T15:20:00.000-08:00

We were blessed by the presence of the Warrior's! Jacob and I both skipped school to hang with these guys, it was such a blast!

Jacob and Zion plotted to become brothers at various point during their stay. They just kept getting hung up on the parental issue.

The salmon were just beginning their run this year so we were fortunate to see a few fish. You can't really tell by this picture but they are actually really large salmon and not minnows!

Youth Councils

2006-10-30T10:39:00.000-08:00

It seems near impossible to keep up with everything these days. Pat and I took off to youth councils a few weeks ago for marriage councelling.....hehe,

Jacob was excited to ride in the back with the 'boys.' Only he came home with a few choice words added to his volcabulary that I would have rathered not. He seems to have aquired a standard with women as well....thanx guys!

This is the marriage councelling I was speaking of! What a blast! Yes that is my face behind Pat's enormous glove.

I took off a peice of him too..
And the champion....(ya right, he kicked my butt)
This is Amanda's boyfriend Percy. I have to admit he's a pretty great guy, but Pat has an angry protective uncle image to live up to...

...So Pat took Percy into the ring to find out if he was a real man. I am not allowed to speak of the outcome...oh what the hell, Percy whooped Pat!

I love Autumn

2006-10-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

Here's why:

Rain

2006-10-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

Finally it is raining. I forgot how much I like the rain. Driving home from Chella's house, its dark cold, furious and wet outside. Yet I am toasty as I am being blasted by the heat and mesmorized by the scrapping of the wind sheild wippers. Behind all this white noise is the dropplet pellets wisking me off into a time of relfection. This weekend is proving to be be one of reflection.

This week has been an incredible week of "when's." I spent thanksgiving dinner (one of them), alone with a warm red sunset on a deserted island that took a little talent to get to. Its an island that is surounded by Victoria's bussling harbour of the parliment building, the Empress, Ocean Point Resort, and many million dollar condos lining the harbors borders. Yet there I was, alone with Damien Rices cold water smelling turkey brewing somewhere off in a crowded kitchen while float planes and tall wooden masts became siloettes in the fading sky.

I chose this setting almost as a memorial to the recent "when's" of my life. When I wasn't in school, when I wasn't sudying for midterms, when I wasn't a mom, when I wasn't a wife, when I wasn't in victoria, when I wasn't in Vancouver, and when I wasn't in Newfoundland. It was a year ago this thanksgiving that I finally decided to come home. Yet I didnt "come" to home. Rather I was leaving something behind. It was monumental. It was wisdom. It was heart wrenching. It was life sustaining. It was right, and it was grace.

The other thanksgiving dinner was spent with my mom, brother and sister...all biological, strange. Yet there we were, all bringing something to the table to be shared. All completely comfortable and at home regardless of the different places we had come from. My brother came from the streets; my sister, an only child yet surrounded my dozens of foster children; my mom, now a sucessful author and redneck; and myself growing up alone as "the oldest" in a home that was once all of ours. It was mindblowing to think back to a time when we had all lived under one roof together. It was brief, maybe a year or two in total before we were each torn into seperate directions. Yet here we all were. We survived.

Best part, and the conclusion of all my rambling and reflection; I AM HOME; and I want to go home.

Here's a few pic's of recent adventures:

I love this kid!

My mommy and her husband, Roger.

We took a tractor ride to the pumpkin patch

2006-10-08T10:34:00.000-07:00

High lights from Uncle Nics races at western speedway,

Jacob has officially graduated from the Tot's Karate progam and is in full swing of the belt program. First belt is white, last is black, and there a number inbetween.

A lazy afternoon, I only got up to take the picture.

....love

Finaly some good reading!

2006-10-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

" What society values does not reflect divine law,

absolute truth, or the natural order of things.

The values that are endorced in any society are arbitrary

and designed to support dominant ideologies

or the beliefs of those in power."

Secular Faith

2006-09-27T22:27:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while something comes your way that seriously rocks your faith, values and beliefs. Usually when I run into new perspectives, most secular, I find my faith strengthened. But today unfortunately was not the case, I was completely discouraged. During a discussion around self concept and its evolution it was expressed that we are born into this world as an empty shell with no predetermined traits, or future values. We are empty internal vessels that will be created by our external environment. We alone are responsible for creating ourselves from life experiences as we are nothing when we are first born. Of the twenty individuals present almost all of them agreed. But as a clause, some one threw in a statement of, "ya but nobody has an edge on truth."

HOLY CRAP! What about God our Father who knows us each my name, He knew us in our mothers womb. He knows how many hairs are on my head, he knows who I was, who I am , and who I will be. He even knows if I will reside in heaven or hell. I am not an empty vessel, I've got my savior deep inside. I wanted to scream,

"I HAVE AN EDGE ON TRUTH AND HIS NAME IS JESUS CHRIST!"

Welcome to the secular world. I am discovering very quickly that in the secular world religion is viewed as an old fashioned pass time that includes strict useless disciplines. "But I mean, if people get something out of going to church, by all means they should go." Yet all these new terms such as; humanism, phenominism, feminism, holism, and self concept are popping up all over the place in conversation. Most of these words revolve around beliefs, values, experiences, traditions, and social traits. One professor was stating that the elements that shape an individual can be found in a combination of three (only three) areas; political, economic and social. Is religion just a social aspect of who we are? Or maybe it comes under politics as there is so much of that in our churches today. But then again, as a church we go out and feed those who are hungry....So maybe it is economic.

Is not religion the foundation of all of the above mentioned concepts? Was it not Moses who brought God's law to the people? The very Law that has foundations in our political and judicial systems (yes they are corrupt as well)? The term Humanism screams Gods fallen creation. Holism, I am truly fulfilled by the living water that will sustain me for all eternity. Feminism is all about correcting injustices.

I probably should not blog when passion speaks before wisdom. Then again I have wisdom in Christ Jesus, thus I am passionate. Or maybe I am just a narrow minded Christian. You know those Christians, its "God's way or hell."

Perserverance

2006-09-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

Perserverance....God is DEFINITELY teaching me a lesson in perserverance. Perserverance to wake up each day and head to classes, perserverance to wake Jacob up every day so that he can perserver in his school, perserverance to study, study some more, and then study a little more. Between work, school, family and other obligations, I have not a moment to myself. I think tonight I will force myself to take a moment and enjoy some fresh air along side Damien Rice...not sitting, not writing, not getting motion sickness starring through the oculars of a microscope, not learning greek via anatomy and physiology and definitely NOT reading.

One major thing I learned this week....."we cannot possibly be everything to everyone, so be genuine and stop trying so bloody hard." This came from a professor regarding the personal care of patients and it hit really hard. One of the main focuses in training college was, "As officers we need to be all things to all people...... And be genuine.....:)" I understand the principle that they were getting at, but for petes sake lets be realistic!

This first semester is proving that so much of nursing ideologies are based on theology. In place of God is each persons own ethics and beliefs. We are taught that all truth is relative, and that no truth stands outside each individuals own knowledge. . . . . Interesting to say, at the least. I understand what these wacky classes are getting at, but me being me, I have to put my own two cents in. My words of, "there is only one factual truth," were actually accepted and respected, but only because everyone in the room is applying the above statement, that my truth was relative only to me, even though God's truth, effects every single person in that room--they are all going to hell. (sarcasm-of course)

We were told to bring a writing or piece of an article that with held our own personal meaning of health. I brought the bible and said that it was too long to read in class, so I just gave a short passage from James 5, The Prayer of Faith. There are actually many Christians in my classes as well as Buddhists, proclaimed atheists, nauturalists, Catholics and an few eastern decendents. The discussions are intense and quite enjoyable. And back to grade school...in a couple of Saturdays we get our first field trip, to science world to see, "Body Worlds 3".

Front lines

2006-09-17T01:21:00.000-07:00

There is so much I'd love to say, yet no words will be written nor spoken on the matter. Each day I praise God for the gifts he has so graciously bestowed upon me, and each day I pray, begging for the strength to carry out his will in a holy and upright manner. Nursing school is incredible. Each day I attend, I receive confirmation that this is in fact the road God has placed before me to walk. At the same time, nursing school is a ton of work. (literally a TON! You should carry around my back pack for an afternoon!) I am thriving in an educational setting, yet I am exhausted balancing work, school, homework, social life, commitments, mom and wife. I am battling the front lines, and I have turned to God for my armor.

Jacob is absolutely loving French immersion kindergarten. Within three days he is counting to twelve in French and he even called me his little lady bug in this foreign language. Every morning as we near his kindergarten door his excitement cannot be contained. He will jump up and down and state, "Mom I can't wait to go inside!" What an answer to prayer. Jacobs amazing attitude is God given.

If I become sparse and spread out on this web page it is not because I am struggling or in hiding, rather I am thriving and allowing growth and opportunity to take over. Speaking of opportunity, it is no hidden fact that I have always had a heart and dream of working in Africa. Nursing was the route I felt called to many years ago to carry out this dream. From May 15 until July 2007 there is an opportunity to experience my nursing practicum in Togo Africa. It was a huge step of faith to commit four years of my life to study to achieve the calling and dream God has placed in my heart. He is faithful.

Fugitives and First days of school

2006-09-09T16:19:00.000-07:00

An interesting scene played out the other night that got me to thinking of how God must feel at times when he is looking down on his foolish disobedient children. Our neighborhood is definitely a "hood" and it is quite often we see the police speeding across the field behind our house, or we heard the brawls, the sounds of the undeniable intoxicated and high, those getting stabbed(unfortunately it is becoming a common event), people trying to smash in windows... etc.

The other night was no different. A heated argument between 10-15 youth, the fists, screams, words such as, "His blood is all over me" and "quick lets take off before the cops get here." Finally we hear the sirens, and one kid attempts to smash starbucks window before fleeing into the park. As he is half way across the park, right beside out apartment building, he sees the cops waiting for him on the other side. He runs to the corner of our fence and lies down in the tall grass. Literally he is five feet out from our balcony, and three stories down, we can hear him breath. A cop car comes in from the other side of the park trapping the young man where he is hiding. Pat is on the phone with the police who are giving directions of the kids wear abouts to the cop car. Mean while I am standing the balcony watching this young man lay still, hoping to evade his deserved punishment (later we found out he stabbed another kid). From my view I can see the two cop cars closing in, watch the kid panicking and sweating in the grass till I can't stand it any longer. I leaned over and spoke to him, "dude just give yourself up." He looks up at me suprized, says, "oh shit" and takes off running, the cop car in full pursuit. Of course he is overcome, tackled, slammed and arrested.

Watching the whole scene from my birds eye view was really quite disheartening, (and oddly funny). I knew the ending of the scene, it was only a matter of time. Yet there was the kid hiding, thinking that he could get away with his actions, evade the police, and evade his rightful punishment. I wonder if this was how God felt as he wandered through the garden of Eden in the cool of the day. He called out to Adam and Eve, yet he knew where they were. He knew what they had done, he knew what grave consequences lay ahead. Yet there were Adam and Eve, hiding their bodies covered in shame hoping to evade YHWH.

Seriously, who do we think we are that we can go around sinning, hiding in secrecy thinking that we are "all that" for getting away with our actions. YHWH, the almighty sees all of our actions and we will be held accountable. We will be punished and will face the consequences. Our God is the God of grace. Grace that is free if we would only believe and receive.

Confess, receive it and rejoice.

"Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways, declares the Lord GOD. Repent and turn from all your transgressions, lest iniquity be your ruin."
Ezekiel 18:30

"I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. "
Revelation 3:18-20

Here's the update on everything else...

This is it... Jacobs FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARDEN!!!! Jacob came home and exclaimed that he absolutely LOVED school and he couldn't wait to go back tomorrow. He even asked if he could go everyday FOREVER! (I told him yes)

There is lots of change in our house as I don't get to hang out with my little guy as much as I used to. At least we can do our homework together! (his is in French)

This was the hard picture to take, yes I cried!

Here are some other random pics:

Pat and I took a day bike trip and met up with my parents and niece and nephew

This is my niece Alex, is she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen!

I swear this is one of the greatest reasons to have a kid, you get to be one again!

Schizophrenic neighbor

2006-09-05T22:11:00.000-07:00

Pat and I used to live in this apartment building before taking off for Newfoundland. Back then we had this sweet and absolutely dear schizophrenic man living beside us. He would bring us peanut butter on a weekly basis for no apparent reason at all. We always graciously accepted and he was always super friendly as if we were his family. Strange thing was, he would always call us Dave and June. And who ever Dave and June actually were, this man obviously held in high regard. At first we corrected him, but he would never catch on so for the past 5 years on and off that this man has known us, we have been Dave and June.

So this evening this fine young man was sitting outside the front door of the apartment building. Pat asked him if he was coming in. To which he replied, "DONT BE IGNORANT, AS IF YOU DONT KNOW!!! THEYRE IN MY APARTMENT." Pat not really knowing how to respond to this strange behavior just shrugged and proceeded to enter the apartment. As he walked away the man said, "AND YOUR COVER IS BLOWN, I KNOW YOUR NAME IS NOT DAVE!"

Great! Our cover is blown, but what on earth! And now I'd love to know the purpose of this man weekly gift of skippy smooth peanut butter!

Speaking of peanut butter, today was my first day as a Registered Nurse student. What a blast! I was quite nervous and was praying continually for an easy transition back into a college where I knew not a single soul. I had barley stepped onto the bus by my house when a girl my age said to me, "Hey your starting the nursing program aren't you!" I guess my books gave it away. Zoe and I got a long quite well and stuck together the entire day. Strange thing was, of 180 students and 8 separate divisions, we both ended up with the exact same schedule.

God I praise you for your provision,
I praise you for your faithfulness.
You have placed these desires in my heart, and now you are providing the strength to see them realized. For you alone will I use what ever gifts and skills are gained from this endeavor.

Saanichton Fair

2006-09-03T23:39:00.000-07:00

Well it seems that this summer has been nothing but one exciting adventure after another, all to end tomorrow. Here are the latest.

Jacob and Alex hooked up once again and conquered at least a dozen rides each

One of my more humbling moments, yes I am riding a giant bumble bee!

Here we are about to embark on the second scariest ride at the fair, "The hurricane." Of course "The Zipper" is the scariest and even with begging, dragging, pleading and threatening...I still bailed on that one. Just for the record Tasha and Nicole went for three rounds with "The Zipper." I am simply, A BIG WUSS!

The after shot, not so shabby.

CHICKEN LITTLE!!!

Maybe it was a little heat stroke BUT (HAHA) for some reason these next shots seemed ridiculously funny at the time,

(Some of the above were first prize winners at the fair...Others were not.)

Its funny Tasha called the Saanichton fair, "The ghetto Fair." But the entire parking lot for the entire fair takes place in an enormous hay field.

Karate Party

2006-08-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

What a great idea for a birthday party, IT WAS A HIT!

First the teachers (or sanphie's) sent the kids on wild relay races

loaded with humor and silly actions

Then they taught Jacob and his friends some basic Karate defense moves.

After the defense techniques the offensive moves began. Each punch or kick the kids threw were dramatized as the teachers were sent flying across the padded floor. This created an atmosphere of hysteria!

The red paddle seen here is actually a padded clapper so that when the teachers went flying or the kids threw a punch, there was a loud sound effect that led the kids to believe that there punch or kick was the creator of this loud noise.

Yes this is his second birthday cake, spoiled little monkey.

And the favorite venue of the the entire afternoon, Jacob's anutie Aleah

Nursing = Greek

2006-08-28T00:45:00.000-07:00

One of the courses I am taking this fall in the nursing program, is called, "Anatomy and physiology." I was a little frightened by it as the pre-requisites for the couse include biology and chem 12, both of which I have taken...ohh....about 9-10 years ago. The college states that if you have not taken a pre-requisite within the last five years, they will make you retake the course. Some how I have slipped through the cracks.

So alas fear of failure has encouranged me to read the text ahead of time to refresh my memory of all those chemistry and biology terms, notations and concepts, and I have encountered a startling discovery. Easily 90% of the terms I have encountered are koine Greek! I am thrilled to no end. After this discovery I found an "important note" in my course outline which states that some time will be spend on learing and understanding Greek words to better understand the anatomy and physiology terms that we have adopted today! This is Great! So far all the Greek terms I have come upon have been previously stuck inside my brain.

In order to keep up my Greek I have been looking for a course in koine Greek here in Victoria to no avail. For now, "fundamentals of Anatomy and Physiology" will have to suffice.

metastasis = meta- after + Stasis- standing still

hydrophobis = hydro-water + phobos -fear

Tornadoes and Cougars

2006-08-26T12:16:00.000-07:00

So my 4 year old cousin was attacked by a cougar this last week, and was saved by my uncle, check it out;

Instinct saved boy in cougar attack: B.C. father
(CTV.ca News Staff Updated: Thu. Aug. 24 2006 6:35 AM ET)

A B.C. father said it was survival instinct that saved his four-year-old boy from being mauled to death last week by a cougar in a remote northern Vancouver Island park.
Last Friday, Paul Krismer was fishing at Schoen Lake Provincial Park, located 140 kilometres north of Campbell River, B.C., with his wife and two children.
Krismer was casting out from a fallen log that extended out over the lake when he heard a cracking sound behind him in the bush.
"I turned back, and just as I looked back I saw this cougar, kind of in mid leap, about to bite down on my son's head. And needless to say, the adrenaline rush began," Krismer told CTV Newsnet Wednesday from Comox.
Krismer's son, Paul Daniel, was playing on the beach at the time, but heard the cougar approaching and saw the animal jump towards him.
"I remember hearing the bushes crackle, and also I heard my dad drop his fishing rod," Paul Daniel told CTV Vancouver.
Krismer said his son reacted instinctively by hunching up his shoulders and tucking his head down, which protected his neck.
"And of course, that's how cougars want to attack their prey -- to break their necks. But instead, the cougar got Paul's head and knocked him to the ground," he said.
At that point, Krismer ran down the length of the log yelling "Cougar!"
"And when I approached the end of this log, Paul Daniel and this cougar were down on the ground -- the cougar still with its jaws over Paul's head. And its body was laid out on its side next to him and it gave me a perfect place to jump from the height of the log and from the distance of the log, right down with both feet onto this cougar's chest."
The 175-pound Krismer said he expects that blow did some "pretty significant damage" to the cougar, who he described as not quite full grown and around 100 pounds.
"It let go of my son's head at that point. It kind of looked up at me and I stomped it with my left foot. It got up to run away and I kind of got one last weak little kick in as it fled into the bushes."
Paul Daniel suffered a deep bite mark near his skull and other minor puncture wounds and claw marks, but is doing "just fine" and is in good spirits, said Krismer.
When told he looked good during an interview with CTV Vancouver, Paul Daniel responded: "I know. That's because my dad trimmed my hair and combed my hair."
The night of the attack, Krisner and his wife treated their son at the campground and took him to the hospital the next day.
Park officials have not yet found the cougar, and the park will remain closed until Friday as a precaution. They believe the animal is one year old, based on teeth marks on Paul Daniel's head.

Is'nt he adorable!
****************************************************************

And this is a picture of the F2 tornado that ripped through the small town where my mom restaurant is, destroying a farm house, barn and farm equipment. The funnel cloud began right over the restaurant and gas station then moved south to the farm where it touched down and did its damage. No one was hurt and aside from everything being flipped upside down around the restaurant, there was only damage to the gas station and the highway beside my moms restaurant. My mom said that it was wild. Outside one window of the restaurant she watched rain and hail fly completely horizontal in one direction, and outside the opposite window, it was blowing horizontal in the other direction.

My mom made it into the news as well, check it out;

Women hurt in home south of La Broquerie
By JOYANNE PURSAGA, STAFF REPORTER

La Broquerie is about 60 kilometres southeast of Winnipeg.
The woman was taken to Steinbach hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

DITCHED CARS
Other residents ditched their cars along the highway, after hail, rain and wind hid the road ahead, said Cindy Fontaine. (MY MOM!!!!!)

"At one point, the wind came through like the sound of a truck coming at us and rain came in horizontally," said Fontaine. "It pulled highway signs off the road and threw them into the ditch."

She said the windows of Cindy's restaurant were bowed from the pressure.

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY JACOB!

2006-08-22T23:53:00.000-07:00

Seeing as he entered the world screaming, I thought that this morning I would enter his world screaming, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACOB! WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP YOUR FIVE YEARS OLD NOW!" Amazingly there was no argument as his off button was immediately switched to on. Jacob trod down his ladder rambling a mile a minute. "I'm five now! It's my birthday! I get to go to school now, now that I am five. Mom look what big steps I take now that I am five." (As he attempts to cross his entire bedroom floor in one great big leap) He lands in front of his measuring wall insisting that I measure him cause he must have grown an inch or too since he was last four.

Nicole and Beracah picked up a pirate costume knowing that we had gotten him a pirate ship. Now he gets to wander around the house with a hook on one hand and a sword in the other! Thanks guys! We just hope that he wont try to use his sword on us as he did his karate.

Notice the marijuana bendena(I can't spell). This was a left over from the ones captain Roseanne Fraser purchased for all the leaders to wear at Mom's and Tot's camp!!!! In all it was a blessed day with fellowship laughter and celebration. Jacob even got a marriage proposal, or rather, a statement from an adorable young lady that she was going to marry Jacob some day.

Before and After

2006-08-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

Allow me to introduce to you, "Orange impersonating Pink." Okay, so maybe this color indisguise doesn't look quite so bad here, but it looked hideous on the walls, and I swear this picture is blury, thus if you could see it clearly, you would agree with me. (I was going for most commas in a sentence)

BEFORE

AND AFTER

Tag Team Painting

2006-08-16T10:49:00.000-07:00

So since Jacob has disappeared for this ENTIRE NEXT WEEK (I have yet to track down his invisible friends to discover his exact location), Pat and I have decided to paint and carpet clean our house. Great fun (yes this is sarcasm at its best). Both Pat and I have this undeniable hatred for the color pink. Even more so for colors that try to be pink but fail to meet the proper criteria for "real pink." The before color of our house was an orange that was uncomfortable with its appearance, thus attempted to impersonate the "real color pink". Results: disastrous. Thus we have covered our "off orange, light pink walls with a nice "masculine" (according to Pat, we wont tell him its really feminine) green. The brighter orange impersonating pink trim, has become a nice comfortable white. (unfortunately the orange impersonating Pink trim did not disappear with out a fight)

So Pat would paint the green walls, and I would go around after him touching up the white (still fighting to be orange impersonating pink) trim that had accidentaly seen a little green within its boundaries. Then Pat would go around after me touching up the green walls that had accidentaly seen a little white from my excursion of touching up after the green that had been left on the trim. Results, we were up all night tag team painting after each other. But alas it is complete and is real quite becoming. Orange impersonating Pink has been conquered, we have over come. Pictures yet to come.

You Know Your Apart of a Post Modern family when...

2006-08-13T22:47:00.000-07:00

CONGRATULATIONS TOM AND CHERYL

.....Not only have I had the privilege to see my father get married, my mother (twice), and yesterday topped all. We attended the wedding of my step father! Now how strange is that! I was expecting to have many queer looks as people reacted to my response of who I was and what I was doing at Tom's wedding. But it was actually quite comfortable (and beautiful) with no awkward explanations or bizzar looks. Love you guys

From what I can remember (I think), wine and champagne helps in any potentially awkward circumstance.

Bblaaaaaaa HA HAA Ha! Pat skipped out on the wine, thats why he's looking so incredibly awkward. (p.s. how come I can never get you to cook... in .... an ...appprronnn, HAHAHA)

Strength

2006-08-12T02:00:00.000-07:00

Today, my day consisted of approximately 15 hours of stright work! It was wonderful and rewarding. Praise God for the strength to get me through. A bunch of us ripped up all the carpet and junk from this beautiful character home (Future Crystal Meth Addictions Home). Underneath this dirty dusty carpet lay beautiful, somewhat worn hard wood floors. But alas they will be once again hidden by new, fresh and clean carpet. My life resembles the process that these floors have undergone. Inside I am like the beautiful hardwood floors created by my master for His will and purpose. But as life goes on, I cover up more and more of His desires for my life, and throw in my own. The result: DISASTEROUS! I end up just like the dusty stained rugs that were torn away, today. Eventually the rugs in my life becomes to heavy and dirty to bear. So in one motion I find the strength to rip them from what God has desired me to be, and once again I shine with His will and focus on His desires for my life. But again, a "new carpet" comes in as temptation to cover the bare Robin. I give in, and once again the process begins, I cry "My will, and not yours LORD!" I believe I am too weak to accomplish all that He has set out for me. But right there is my gravest mistake. The truth is, I AM too weak to accomplish all that God desires of me, and I realize that I cannot complete His mission on my own. So I quite and find my own way. Instead, I must rely on God's strength and have faith that he will complete a good work in me. In the first place, God never intended for me to accomplish His will with out Him as the source of all strength....I have so much to learn.

Is AIDS God's Judgment? (cont.)

2006-08-09T09:44:00.000-07:00

First of all, and very importantly, if by "Gods judgment" we mean that every person infected with AIDS has contracted the disease as a result of God's judgment on a particular sin in their life, the answer to the question of this blog is a very loud and firm NO! Such a thought would be too harsh on infants born with the disease (via mother) and persons who have contracted the disease through innocent blood transfere etc.

ON THE OTHER HAND, all suffering is related to the fall of man and the presence of sin in the world. If there were no sin, there would be no AIDS. In this sense, we can claim that the affliction of AIDS is part of God's judgment. Where the lines lay, is really a question not for man, but for God alone.

Consider that throughout the Bible war is frequently presented as God's judgment on his people. But this does not imply that every person who was afflicted with the consequences of war is guilty of the same idolatly and corruption that brought the nations in question down. Babies and unknowing children die in war. I listen to this statement on the news last night in regards to Lebannon.

The fact of the matter is that if there was no sexual promiscuity, there would be no AIDS; and those who are sexually promiscuous are at greater risk. Last night as well I was watching a current and on going documentary on the HIV problem in Africa. One scene showed two neighbor women in an HIV clinic together. They had gone together to get tested for the disease that was running rampant in their communities. Both women were asked, "Have you slept with new partners since your last testing?" One woman replied, "no." Her test was negative. The other woman replied, "yes." Her test was positive----she will die from AIDS, leaving the burden of her orphaned children on another.

Everyone talks of AIDS as an "epidemic" or a "pandemic" but as hisory had displayed instances of each of these, HIV is in no way related past events. For example, in the black plague, people did not know how the disease was spread and the victims were as random as any one could tell. Of course quarentine is the result in the Plague as well as the new threat of bird flu, but that is not the case with AIDS. We know exactly how the disease is spead and as a result, we are told that we are "all are at risk." (This is a lie!) There is no quarentine. (Though I have heard a very neive and ignorrant comment that all aids victims should be sent to Africa then they should be "nuked"...similar to the ebol outbreak) But this is a down right cruel and insensitive comment, yet is was quarrentine in the other mentioned epidemics that stopped the spread and devistation of the disease.

We are not all at risk for we know how to protect ourselves from the disease. We were all at risk by the Bubonic plague or small pox of cholera. If God's law of celibacy was upheld, and marrital faithfulness, you are not injecting drugs with someone elses needle you may consider yourself, not at risk, infact the chances of picking up the disease are virtually zero. (of course the extreemly rare innocent transmittion of the disease)

So the final say remains that, the overwhelming majority of those who suffer from the disease have engaged in biblically forbiddin practices. Thus unlike the plague, the connection between biblically forbidden behaviour and contraction of the disease makes it harder NOT to see the severe hand of God in AIDS.

I wont take the time to discuss the imlications of homosexuality in corrolation to AIDS. Though extreemly relevant, an other huge topic for another day. In conclusion, some ask, since AIDS can be attributed to the hand of God, should we then sit back and let it take its course with out our hand of aid and compassion? Absolutley not. We as christians are not called to ignore the the homeless, the starving the wounded and the displaced. AIDS victims and those that are affected in one way or another, need our help, our compassion and our prayers. Christ died so save sinners, sinners like me, sinners like AIDS sufferers. So if Christians wander around the earth uttering warnings of God's judgment on those who practice promiscuity and homosexuality, remember that they are guilty sinners telling guilty sinners where to find relief. Forgiveness, love, compassion and self sacrifice.

I know that God has called me into nursing, and Africa. I can personally see a huge corrolation between the two mentioned and AIDS! How I would love to have the privillage of actually helping with my own two hands offering medical aid covered with the love, compassion and forgiveness of Christ.

Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome

2006-08-07T15:58:00.000-07:00

AIDS is a basket of diseases that finally prove lethal and that spring form the failure of the body's immune system. This failure is "acquired" meaning that it is not the result of an internal breakdown of organ function. This acquired failure is a result of the effects in the body caused by the HIV (Human immunodeficency virus) virus.

The T-helper lymphocyte is a cell that coordinates the complex reaction of the body's immune system to invaders. These cells are targeted by HIV as well as brain cells, macrophages (scavenger cells that engulf both foreign matter and cellular debris) and colorectal cells (Cells of the colon and rectum). Under a microscope HIV looks like a blob with a bunch of hooks similar to that of velcro. The virus can replicate only by attaching itself to the above mentioned cells which are found only inside the body, thus why it is not possible to contract HIV by sitting on a toilet seat or kissing (as examples).

There are different stages that HIV victims pass through. Upon initial contraction there may be a slight fever or rash. Within about four weeks the victim is capable of infecting others. The time span between when the victim contacts the Virus, until it becomes full blown AIDS can range from 2-15 years. The time span from AIDS to death is usually 1-4 years, though it is important to mention that with new medical treatment, HIV and AIDS victim's life spans are increasing.

AIDS itself is a collection of infections that the body is no longer able to fight. These include tashes, fungal infections, pulmonary infections and Katposis sarcoma (rare cancer). In most victim, the AIDS virus attacks the brain cells directly causing an array of effects.

The reason that HIV is most common among practicing homosexuals is because the membranes in the anal passage are fragile and prone to bleeding. Blood and semen are both very high carriers of HIV. The reason why HIV and AIDS is running rampant in Africa and other third world and maginalized areas of the world is complex. To be brief: The AIDS virus began in central east Africa. The same virus is found in monkeys in the area, how it contracted to humans is unknown, and only leads one to wonder. There is little education in such places of what causes the disease and how to contain the out break. In many parts of Africa, the men go away to work, thus not seeing their wives for long periods of time causes infidelity. Then the disease is brought back home. Wives mothers and children are infected. Most children left orphaned by the disease, will also perish in the same fashion. Strangley enough religion has a hand in the lack of education and prevention. Many catholic leaders refuse to educate there community on the use of condoms as premarital sex and unfaithfulness within marriage is forbidden. Thus abstinence is preached. We live in a fallen world, need I say more.

There are many other higher risk victims such as needle drug users, and areas where poverty and prostitution is high. Also among those who under goes blood transfusions; there is always a risk no matter how careful our blood supplies are monitored, as we have seen.

************************************************************
STATS:
Global HIV/AIDS estimates, end of 2005
The latest statistics on the world epidemic of AIDS & HIV were published by UNAIDS/WHO in May 2006, and refer to the end of 2005.

Estimate
38.6 million People living with HIV/AIDS in 2005

36.3 million Adults living with HIV/AIDS in 2005

17.3 millionWomen living with HIV/AIDS in 2005

2.3 million Children living with HIV/AIDS in 2005

4.1 million People newly infected with HIV in 2005

More than 25 million people have died of AIDS since 1981.

Africa has 12 million AIDS orphans.

By the end of 2005, women accounted for 48% of all adults living with HIV worldwide, and for 59% in sub-Saharan Africa.

Young people (15-24 years old) account for half of all new HIV infections worldwide - around 6,000 become infected with HIV every day.

In developing and transitional countries, 6.5 million people are in immediate need of life-saving

AIDS drugs; of these, only 1.3 million are receiving the drugs.

The number of people living with HIV rose from around 8 million in 1990 to 38.6 million in 2005, and is still growing. Around 63% of people living with HIV are in sub-Saharan Africa.

*****************************************
All mentioned above is a break down of what exactly HIV is and whom it tends to target as its victims including the prognosis of imminent death. All of this information can be found on the World Health Organization Website.

So here's the big question that many in the Christian faith (and others out side of it and apart of other faith) would like to vocalize but refrain to as a result of fear of perhaps the answer or there lack of.

IS AIDS GOD's JUDGMENT?

Its not so hard to come across Old Testament stories of death and destruction at the hand of Gods wrath. God has sent manna and water to sustain life, but He also has sent disease, war, famine, fire and sulpher (just as a few examples) when humanity was disobedient at best. What I have just stated above is acceptable and easy to swallow as it occured hundreds and thousands of years ago. There is no memory in our recent ancestors to pass down these instances of God's judgment. (Some more bold--such as myself---may remain open or even attribute other natural disasters and wars to the Hand of God, after all this is His universe and trends remain throughout history; our present era is no exception) Yet the Bible so clearly sets the beginning and final theme of God's immanent judgment and wrath. So who is to say that HIV is not a modern display of God's vengance on mankind for our disobedient and shameful actions.

Carson has written specifically on this touchy subject with the AIDS virus at the forefront of his discussion. The sun is shinning and Jacob is at my feet begging to go to the skate park, I will summerize Carson perspective on the subject tomorrow.

Where Worlds Collide

2006-08-04T14:40:00.000-07:00

An incredible week of blessings. A bizarre week of peaceful unexpected confrontation. A week of healing, forgiving, acceptance and anticipation.............
....a week spent where worlds collide.

I was reacquainted with women whom I had the privilege of living with during my first few weeks in Vancouver. Fellow session mates from Newfoundland training college (now commissioned officers), and fellow cadets commissioned from the session a head of our own. Other close friends from the DTES and New West. Family, friends and officers from here in Victoria.

All of whom, I am proud to say, know the same Robin. No lies; no deception; no hidden secrets; no false fronts. You finally realize that God has brought you through something enormous when you can stand blameless, with you head high, as many worlds of different significance and relevance collide around you and with each other.

God I praise you for freedom.

So much

2006-07-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

It has been very busy week of recovery from camp, back to work, VBS, birthdays, family visits (or rather squatters!), tattoo's (explanation reserved for another day) and now preparations for more camp. Needless to say.....I AM EXAUSTED! What a ride.

I'll be back on the flip side.

(currently upside down, inside out, and backwards...:)

Spaghetti For Lunch

2006-07-22T14:54:00.000-07:00

Robin: "Jacob, why are you stabbing your spagetti so violently?"

Jacob: "Because my imaginary friends fell asleep in my spaghetti and I was trying to wake them."

Robin: ".......alright........well..., just eat your spagetti and stop playing with it."

Jacob: "Now its covered in imaginary blood sauce....that will taste discusting. I am sorry mom, but now I cannot eat it."

Longbeach

2006-07-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

LONGBEACH = FREEDOM...

...AND REST ZZZzzzz

Bodyboard....$9.99

Wet Suit...$34.99

Body surfing.....priceless.

ART?

This picture was taken seconds before all three of our feet were bitten by hungry...mysterious looking creatures....we all screamed and ran...it hurt ALOT!

I see you!

Random comment

2006-07-15T16:57:00.000-07:00

We were walking from the van into costco when my son said the sweetest thing.

"I am cold....(pause)....can someone please wrap their arms around me?"

His comment was so innocent and honest. Its amazing how as a child, a hug pretty much solves any wound, emotional or physical. It made me think of hard times in my life as an adult. Times when I would have loved to reach out from my cold surroundings and beg someone to wrap their arms around me as a little child. Maybe not even a physical gesture, but one of support and compassion. I am also reminded of Zephaniah 3:17. How I long to be quieted by the love of my heavenly Father...to be rejoiced over with gladness.

Answered Prayer

2006-07-14T00:11:00.000-07:00

I was definatley lacking faith, failing in trust and over come with doubt. Nursing was seemingly farther and father away. I was told that it was impossible for me to get in this september. At first I was devastated. I have always dreamed of reaching this goal, and yet again, it became unreachable. After moping and being miserable for a few good days, I finally gave it over to God. I praised him for his provision and the opportunity for a great year of work ahead at an increadible job. Still, inside, it stung a little. 6 weeks went by, and the vertict was finally accepted...then....

YAHOO!!!!!! Camosun college called and offered me a seat to replace another student who dropped out (this after stating that under no circumstances would I make it in this year!). The lady on the phone was apologetic stating that I did not have any choice in my schedual, as I would be forced to assume the schedual of the person whom I was replacing. God definatley had his hand in this schedual because I could not ask for anything more. I have all but one afternoon off, fridays off and two other mornings off each week. Also, I had saved a fair amout to cover tuition, I am not sure why, but it is much cheeper than I thought....Praise God all around!

Its strange how just the other day I was speaking of tests that I failed quite brilliantly(if this could be an appropriate descriptive expression in this sense). I believe this last test was also a similar test of patience, faith and trust. Though I wined a little (okay I definatly sulked) I accepted my future and entrusted it to God....I PASSED!

Thank you Father! I give to you only, glory and praise for the blessings in my life. I have finally abandoned my stuborn ways, and Father, you have recognized my effort and blessed my obedience. God, please do not set me a sail now. For if a storm arose, I cannot say that at this time my strength would be enough to endure. Stay with me. Walk close by and keep me on the course you have set out for me to accomplish. For without you, my accomplishments, goals and dreams are meaningless, and I am nothing.

"I know, O LORD, that the way of a man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps. Correct me, O LORD, but in justice; not in your anger, lest you reduce me to nothing." (Jeremiah 10:23-24)

Nagasaki

2006-07-13T10:46:00.000-07:00

August 5th 1945

"It is an atomic bomb. It is the harnessing of the basic powers of the universe...what has been done is the greatest achievement of organized science in history."

-Truman-

Jacob's Great Escape

2006-07-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

Jacob spent 4 days with Grandpa and Grandma! What an adventure!

(It was sooo peaceful at home)

Camping out in the backyard with uncle Nic

And the great escape began with sleep

Jacobs new best friend

Notice the rope coming out of the pool, and Jacob reaching for Lucy's collar...she was desperate for company

Ah....umm....did Jacob untie Lucy?

Grandpa, uncle Ben and Uncle Nic built this cabin, tucked away on "secret round island"

Exploring on the island

Grandpa's home made toilet...talk about roughing it in style

The lookout

The look out view

Nice hat Jacob, going for the curious george look?

THE END...

...next time TAKE ME!

Crazy Couple of Weeks

2006-07-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

What a Crazy couple of weeks is has been! God has been crashing through many of my walls and the result has been.... FREEDOM! I also recognize a lot of testing that has occured recently. Its funny, I was tested in this same way not so long ago....and I failed, miserably and horribly in every sense. These next verses spell it out quite simply:

"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands." (Deuteronomy 8:2)

"For the LORD your God is testing you, to know whether you love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul." (Deuteronomy 13:3)

"I know, my God, that you test the heart and have pleasure in uprightness." (1 Cronicles 29:17a)

"You have tried my heart, you have visited me by night, you have tested me and you will find nothing; I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress." (Psalm 17:3)

"Prove me, O LORD, and try me; test my heart and my mind; (Psalm 26:2)

Well I am ashamed to say that God laid out an ENORMOUS test for me, and I failed. My heart consisted of black slimy sinful gue, and I was a willing particapant. When I recently rediscovered these verses, they actually ment something huge to me in a whole new form. (I love it when the Bible is revealed in a new and exciting way after plowing through trials and tempatations...its like reading an exciting brand new book) I know God was speaking to me and right after I continued on with my morning study and hear is what D.A. Carson had to say,

"Jesus unfairly suffered....Paul agonizes far more over the difficult things he has to suffer at the hands of his own converts in corinth than over the beatings and privations he has endured at the hands of outsiders. Thus, pastors and other christian leaders must not be suprised by the extrordinary emotional pressures that may befall them, imposed by thoughless or even renegade church members. These will rarely be fair; they can be soul-destroying. To expect them is to rob them of part of their power; to endure them with grace and fortitude is nothing other than following the example of Jesus."

Carson has outlined my own personal testing and trial, at which I failed to stand upright during its duration. Rather I gave up... not just ministry, faith and trust in our christian leaders, I gave up Christ like actions in my own life. I totally rebelled and went as far as I could the other way, I was too hurt and devastated to allow any christian community into my bleeding heart.....in all, I failed. And the consequenses were fare worse than the actual failing-----It was God's justice, and it was actually a relief to be punished and set straight by the almighty.

Its amazing how God provides these little snippits of information, or speaks to you through many different ways...all focusing on one issue. Here is an email that a close friend sent me. She found this because she was studying for a biology exam....and thought of me.

Hey Robin,

I was answering a qusetion in my homework about the 'fight or flight' response of the body. When I read this paragraph I was thinking about you and the blog that you have begun...seems like you have definitely gone beyond the fight or flight feelings from training college and have taken retrospect and moved on....

"We can begin to see how it is almost impossible to cultivate positive attitudes and beliefs when we are stuck in survival mode. Our heart is not open. Our rational mind is disengaged. Our consciousness is focused on fear, not love. Making clear choices and recognizing the consequences of those choices is unfeasible. We are focused on short-term survival, not the long-term consequences of our beliefs and choices. When we are overwhelmed with excessive stress, our life becomes a series of short-term emergencies. We lose the ability to relax and enjoy the moment. We live from crisis to crisis, with no relief in sight. Burnout is inevitable. This burnout is what usually provides the motivation to change our lives for the better. We are propelled to step back and look at the big picture of our lives—forcing us to examine our beliefs, our values and our goals."

I thank God for burn out. I praise him for his Justice. Some lessons hurt a hell of a lot more than others, carrying hefty consequences, but their is such freedom in confession. As I have mentioned before, I hate the word transparent.....well I hated it because I was so increadibly afraid of it. I have conquored this fear and have become "transparent." The best part is that, I am no longer ashamed, I have nothing to hide, my sin does not designate who I am, rather what I have over come and become as a result of putting in its place. Again, PRAISE GOD FOR FREEDOM!

Impassibility of God

2006-07-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

Many theologians hold to the doctine of the impassibility of God. This doctrine afirms that God cannot suffer. The extreem side of the impassibility of God holds that nothing inside this earth, or beyond its realms could ever change God's decisions and directions, or cause Him to feel emotion, or be effected by another being. Some verses that have been used to support this view include, Job 42:2. "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted." Or check out Malichi 3:6, "I the LORD do not change." "God does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17) God, "works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will." (Ephesians 1:11).

But what of the many passages that speak of God loving, or becoming angry when he sees something that goes against his strict commandments? Long before the cross we read of God's passion, tenderness, anger and yearning. Here are some examples. "Is not Ephraim my dear son, the child in whom I delight? Though I often speak against him, I still remember him. Therefore my heart yearns for him; I have great compassion for him,' declares the LORD" (Jeremiah 31:20) "How can I give you up Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel?...My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused. I will not carry out my gierce anfer, nor will I turn and devastate Ephraim. For I am God, and ot man" (Hosea 11:8-9) And on the New Testament side, John 3:16! And why was it that, "Jesus Wept."?

Theologians who desire to uphold the doctrine of impassability state that verses that discuss emotions of our God are mearly anthropomorphisms. Meaning figures of speech that speak of God with human attributes, but that God is not human. When God "rolled up his sleves" it is intended to show that God displayed his power, but He does not literally roll up any sleeves. Those who defend the impassability of God also believe that, since God created everything, he stands out side of time... (but to another step further)....Therefore he must be above time and in away..."trapped in his own eternity" where someday we shall reside after we escape our lives trapped within the constrains of time. Therefore when the biblical writers wrote of God's interaction on earth, they were mearly putting it terms that use our human categories such as years and days...time. To defend the doctrine inlight of Christs ascention to earth; Christs emotions on earth are only in relation to his human nature, and not at all associtated with his divine nature.

Now in my own opinion....I completely disagree. How can I worship and have faith in the god who is left after this rude stripping. Impassability turns into impassiveness. If God does not suffer or have compassion for His creation, then why does the Bible spend so much time depicting him as if he does? Another flaw, we know so little about time and eternity in relation to God. I am not comfortable believeing in a doctrine that hides behind one of the greatest mysteries. We do not know the relationship between time and eternity. Is there any evidence that determines that there is no sequence of time within eternity? And of Christs emotions only resulting from his human side and no relation to his divine....a multi personality, dare I say schizophrenic Christ? Anthropomorphisms are figures of speech, but all figures of speech are created because they refer to SOMETHING! The Biblical writers chose these figures of speech to make us think of God as not only absolutely sovereign, but also as a personal, emotional, responding, interacting God.

The God of the New and the Old testament is described as a being who can suffer. I doubt that God's suffering is EXACTLY like ours, but just the same, He does suffer. As well we can be certain that the Biblical writters use metaphors, but they are not metaphors that refer to nothing, or that are suggestive of nothing. They are metaphors that refer to God, suggesting profound emotions and personal relationships with his people.

Days....

2006-06-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

....this is definatly one of them.

Forgotten Perspective?

2006-06-29T10:19:00.000-07:00

Crucifixion was reserved for the scum of society such as slaves, traitors and barbarians. It was a hideous public death that was sure to send a shudder down the spine.

In our world today, our churches are adorned with the cross. It graces our bishops, shows up on many a uniform and label, and hangs from gold chains around our necks. It is a universal symbol of hope.

In the first century it was far from this. In fact the cross in the first century was obscene. To wear a peice of jewlery fashioned as a cross would have been grotesque, a bit of revolting humor consiterably more shocking than, say, in our century, wearing a bit of jewlery fashioned like the mushroom cloud of an atomic bomb.

No wonder Paul can write, "the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing." (1 corinthians 1:18)

Church

2006-06-26T10:42:00.000-07:00

Each week as I prepare for the church rush I find myself with an "off" attitude. What do I like about church? The fellowship of hanging around other christians. I think that summs it up...pretty sad. I enjoy taking part in "playing" the music....but even that brings a whole jumbled mess of hypocricy and other stuff of the like that I strugle with. The message? Honestly, I cannot remeber the last time that I heard a message that did not contain a main vain of, "love yourself, love your neighbor, love God.....and.....go tell the whole world about it." I am not dimminishing the importance of these commandment, as Christ Himself stated that they were the most important, and His last "physical" charge before ascending into heaven was the great commission. But for me, these terms are so over done and portaryed as elementary that they become a habit like breathing, yet breathing (for example) is so far from being elementary! With out breath life would cease. The oxygen we need to breath is taken forgranted, we know its there (or so science has told us) yet it is unseen and hardley appreciated, untill it is gone. GOD BREATHED LIFE INTO US! That is huge! As Christians we are conditioned to love, love love and then love some more, ("....and they will know we are christians by our love, by our love...") so you live and breath love, but never recognise it for what it is, and never comprehend your life or the world with out it.

If I heard a great sermon on God's hate for evil, and his anger and wrath for the disobedient in the background, the cross would naturally stand out in the foreground. The cross must be put in its place. Because for for myself, church has made it this kind of safty net. Example: "love, love, love, love, love, and if by chance you forget to love, God's love has compensated through his loving gift of the cross.......love"

Its funny, I have had such a bad attitude about the repetative christian love, (hearing it at home, church and school since I could crawl) that I went out and purposely bought a book that is called, "love in hard places." It's by D.A. Carson. I knew that if there was something more to this love thing, he would be the one to spell it our correctly and in perspective. He did. Carson does a fantastic job of covering all the elements of God's love, but, it is always portrayed in light of His anger and wrath which is the foundation of His love.

Thats enough....

God keep me in a place where I will never take your love forgranted, or treat it as a safty net for when I forget to love. Never let me forget my place....for all are worthy of hell, and that includes me. Please teach me to accept my humble (yet glorified) postion and recognise that you breathed life into me, and you have the power to take that breath away, but it is only by your grace that you allow me breath. And God, lastly, please open my eyes to the good in our western minded churches. (and correct me when I steriotype...ha!)

God Suffering?

2006-06-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

"For faith to be praiseworthy, it must repose in a faithful God."

One reason we are so sure that God is to be trusted is because he sent his Son to suffer cruelly on our behalf. God in whom we have faith and on whom we rely, knows first hand what suffering is all about, not only because He is God and knows everything, but by experience. Many times the Psalmist cries out in his injustice and calls on God to vindicate. When we plead for justice we want justice NOW! Usually it is a selfish justice with the singular goal of reducing our own pain and suffering, perhaps without the bigger picture, or God's ultimate purpose in mind. But justice instantaneously applied when it only favors "me" is not justice at all. Infact this selfish justice intended to releave my sufferings is rather just another name for corruption. If you really want nothing but totally effective and instant justice.....then go to hell.

One important and common error in the church is the view that God the Father is characterized exclusivly by His justice and wrath, while the Son Jesus Christ is characterized exclusivly by mercy and grace. Some how in this view the Son won over the Father by His sacrific of death, whereas with out the Son, God would have just wiped us all out. Remeber, it was the Father who "loved the world" so much, as to send His Son, so that we might surpass our rightly justified destination of hell. Christs death for us, is God's pronounced love for us, provided through His own suffering.

Me

2006-06-19T22:21:00.000-07:00

So where are you Robin? Where are you in your walk? Where is your heart? Where's your head at? These are questions I always think when I am reading blogs of friends. Yet reading my blog----- I am extreemly cold on the subject.

Well I am here, in Victoia. I am not sure how it was that I ended up here. Two years, even 8 or so months ago, I would have never thought. I think it had something to do with a whale!!

God has provided all my basic needs, and then 10 thousand more. A great job, where my gifts can be used to their fullest. The opportunity to worship using piano, flute and voice. The opportunity to teach others how to use these amazing instruments and use them for God's glory. An awsome bunch of kids who have welcomed me back into their arms. Community, family....its all kind of erie how everything played out. I guess thats the bottom line of obedience. HA! If you only knew! None the less, obedience hurts. I will not down play that statement. But in the end, when you have fully committed areas of your life back over to Christ, the blessings flow. Sure consequences still cause pangs at times, but that is life in general, I am experiencing no different.

My head.... is full of new ideas and a thirst for knowledge. I could not beg for anything more. Each day I feel I am reading and learning more about the subjects to which I am so attached! I know that I am in God's hands, I know that He is pleased with my obedience. I know that I am secure in His love.

My heart? Well, its on the right track. A minister once told me that it was obvious I had left my heart back in Africa. My heart that remains in Africa is thriving. The rest of me, that is held here, against its will, is suffering, but not hopless.

Since moving back "home" I have been covered by the showers of God's blessings (Aside from my black and blue knee) The bruised knee on the other hand, was God's punishment, for my boasting so loudly (while running very fast) about beating someone down a moutain. Sure I won(or so I thought), but how strange that I be the one rolling on the ground in agony, and the looser bent over me laughing them selves silly! Okay, so I deserved it.

Robin

Turkey Vulture!

2006-06-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

What an amazing day! A great opportunity arose to spend the day, morning till night, at this amazing resort far out on the west coast. Crashing waves below, a luxurious accomodation, a brilliant sun warming our toes and faces, great company, awsome food, jammin guitars (and a bango! that was cool), a large pod of killer whales passing in the not far distance......the tranquility, the serentity and then.............WHAT!?!?! A TURKEY VULTURE!

It was a picturesque scene, until this (at first) small black dot comes gliding (rather emergency landing style) in from the ocean, increasing in size. A distraction from the pod of killer whales, at first we though is was a herring, then a hawk. A bald eagle? No it was far toooo large for any of these. A pelican? a plane. At last this massive awkward bird obstructed our view comletely landing in our yard at what was it? a TURKEY VULTURE! What on earth was God thinking in His creative mood? This obscure creature can only be described as an oversized turkey (ugly neck and all) with enormous awkward wings hardly capable of keeping it in flight!

In all it was a fabulous day. A great smooozing opportunity, and hey I was even offered another job by the "other side." Of course I am thrilled about the Beacon of Hope House, I would never betray, but the thought was nice anyways, specially considering it came from the head of this "other" organization, and began with the statement "I am looking for a woman." With my bleek sence of humor I could hardly stifle a response, and ended up bursting out with laughter. Thankfully he had the sense to see the humor in it, and laughed along side.

God is GREAT! He must have some sense of humor, TURKEY VULTURE AND ALL!

Robin.

Suffering and Sin

2006-06-14T21:01:00.000-07:00

"All we have to do is live long enough, and we will suffer. All we have to do is live long enough and we will die."

Strange....this statement is an undeniable fact. Yet why is it that we are always caught off guard by death and suffering?

What a great start to an incredible chapter in Carson book on suffering and evil! I love this man! There has always been so many truths in my mind that I dare not share due to steriotipical christian confessions and beliefs! Carson has nailed so many of my thoughts and actually published them for the christian world to marvel over these "new thoughts." (As old as our God--and before creation itself, they existed) Just hard to swallow in a society which seeks comfort, correction and justification for hardship in every nook and crany.

So how do we define death in the christian faith? It is quite plainly not the supreme instance of a cosmic lack of fairness, but rather God's well considered sentence against our sin.

"we are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation.

You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.

All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan.

The length of our days is seventy years- or eightly, if we have the strength;

yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

Who knows the power of your anger?

For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you"

(Psalm 90:7-11)

Death is God's limit on creatures whose sin is that they want to be gods. (Gen 3:4-5, Rom 6:23). We are not gods, and by death we learn that we are only human. At the same time we cry out against our limitation. Not only because of our rebellion but because we are made in the image of a perfect God whose days are eternal. Death keeps humility close at hand and arrogance at bay as the greatest mystery still unknown to mankind, will conquor each and everyone of us, usually preceeded by suffering. It is our sentance, it is our consequence, blessed be the name of the LORD.

Its facinating to think of it in this way, "I have attracted the just wrath of God." Death is not something that simply happens to me, it happens to me because I am a sinner. I have caused death, I am deaths subject, not just is object. In conclusion sin merits punishment and it is by God's mercy alone that we are not all instantly punished when we sin.

Illness and death are of course not necessarily the immediate judicial consequence of a specific sin. There are many instances in the bible where death or illness is the direct cause of a sin, but not ina ll cases. (Again go back to Luke and the tower of silom.)

But think of the world today how many illnessess are the direct result of surpressed hatred, anger, jealousy, bitterness, guilt? What about high blood pressure, ulcers, heart failure due to self inflicted (sin inflicted) stress? How many emotional problems are directly caused by dysfunctional families? Perhaps emotional problems that lead or escalate into even more sin, as example, rape, murder, adultery, pornography. And what of the AIDs virus or other sexually transmitted deseases? Sure it is commonly known that many individuals contract the virus not by homosexual activies or promisquity, but it is a common denominator in those engaged in such a tendancy. All have sinned, all fall short of God's glory, all have been given a sentance of death, if it were not by God's grace who, once conquoring death, offers eternal life to those who know and love Him and are chosen by Him. God reveals His powers in all sort of manners. His Wrath is no exception. From the horrifying power revealed through the just deaths of Ananias and Sapphira, to the natural process of death bound up with in the organization of creation and its continuing functions.

Still, the fact remains, suffering is not a pleasant ordeal. Yet we all seem to be caught off guard, and shocked that it could invade our homes and our personal lives. We are shaken to the core when a young life is lost, weather it be to an early illness, or a sudden tragic death of circumstance. Why are we suprized and so caught off gurad by suffering that has occured in this way since the fall of man. For what of Able who was murded by an own family member far before his golden years?

There is a cultural factor also at work in our western world. Death is the last mystic "taboo" still waiting to be disected, discovered, and solved. We can publically advocate for a breast cancer cure or of the sort, yet to publically advocate for a cure to death is obserd! Sure we have imagined our time machines, or special pills to keep death from invading, but all we have achieved is a prolonged life, which requires medical procedures and organ replacment to keep death from taking life, when naturally it would occure. Infact we can even "create" (still with God's tools as we cannot make sperm and egg) life out side of a human body! But we cannot keep death from its final say. In our culture corpses are wisked away to be "prepared" in a secret place. Then they are set on display, avoiding the most embaressing had hard to gripe facts of death. The grieving process is done in private and the grieved only seem to return to the rest of the world when they can once again step out in public with a brave "I am over it now" face. Then they are accepted back into a hustling and busting society.

Surley I believe that there are worse things than death. Carson himself states that he would rather die that cheat on his wife. He would rather die than disown the gospel. I agree with him whole heartedly. Being unfaithful is worse than death. Disowning the gospel, or being guilty of ending the life of another is worse than death. Death is something that is endured with suffering (in most cases) But this sort of suffering is cause by something that is natural and that will eventually take place sooner or later. To live with the knowledge of your guilt in an affair or you role in the significant suffering of another, is far far far far worse than the suffering of the temporal finality of death. You must live and breath air that you are not worthy of recieving. You must walk among your fellow brothers and sisters with the knowledge in your head that you have cause suffering as compared with the suffering of death. Only you must live a life or this drawn out suffering.

Death brings end to suffering.

Guilt

2006-06-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

Taking on guilt or responsibility for everything that goes wrong, also proves that you believe yourself to be all powerful.

I love it!

Feddish

2006-06-08T20:38:00.000-07:00

It is not unknown that I tend to have a fetish, (Ok definatly an obsession) with the anger wrath and judgment of God. In training college the question was possed on many ocations, "Where was God in the Tsunami?" Answers such as, "He was in the relief workers, He was with the millions who remained unharmed, He was with the small baby who was found unharmed floating in a bucket...." Yet I never heard the response, "He was in the waves."

The truth of the matter is that most Christians are uncomfortable with a God that actually may have ordained such destruction such as the Tsunami or the hollocost or the genocide that has recently taken place in Sudan. In most churches I have ever attended, war, cursing and holy war was minimized by "spirituallizing" it, or presenting it as a metephorical Bible stories that was written to scare and encourage obedience into God's chosen. It is easy for Christians to accept a Father that is full of mushy love and hugs such as described by Zephania (3:17), or psalm 23. But what of a God that ordains destruction as punishment to those who refuse to obey His law? What of a God who instructs genocide to be carried out as a commandment, with consequences for those who do not completely obey this anialation order? "Praise be to the LORD my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for Battle." (Psalm 144:1)

"But in the cities of these peopes that
the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance,
you shall leave alive nothing that breaths,
but you shall devote them to complete destruction."
Deuteronomy 20:17a

God then goes on to specify six specific nations that are to be completely wiped out, as God is commanding. Then He goes on to explain His reason for the anialation.

"So that they may not teach you to do according to
all their abominable practices that they have done for
their gods, and so you sin against the LORD your God." Deuteronomy 20:18

When Saul refuses to obey Gods command to completely destroy the Amalekites. The result, "Because you have rejected the LORD, he has rejected you as king." (1 Samuel 15:23) Habakkuk has some amazing insight as well on the topic, only the Israelites are the tagets of Gods wrath verses the Israelites carrying out Gods wrath. God speaks to Habakkuk telling him to watch, for He is about to do an amazing work. Habakkuk recogninzes that God is raising up the Babylonians who are to carry out God's judgment and wrath against the Israelites for their wickedness and disobedience. Habakkuk replies,

"O LORD, you have ordained them (babylonians) as judgment,
and you O Rock, have established them for reproof.
You who are of purer eyes than to see evil and cannot look at wrong,
why do you idly look at traitors and are silent
when the wicked swallowes up the man more righteous than he?" Habakkuk 1:12b-13

Habakkuk also recognizes than God has ordained a nation far more wicked than God's chosen people to destroy them, or carry out God judgment. On a weekly basis we hear of countless threats comming from a few (okay, many) Arab extreemest (or not) who have proclaimed destruction on the western civilzation, (and those of the same mind) in the name of their false god. IS this God's wake up call to the "christian" western world? I know that from many western perspectives, the sin that goes on in our area of the world seems a speck (In my opinion an enormous one) in our eyes. But to God, it must be a plank, especially comming from nations who has put, "In God we trust" on their currency. Or publically claim to be a christian nation with christian based ethincs and laws as we were birthed from the "christian" church. But God has given us so much, thus we bear more responsibility, thus we are even more accountable. God has entrusted us, and we fail. ( This is not a black and white view, I do recognize that our western world has a ton to offer in the way of aid and support, etc.)

So has God ordained the Arab countries to carry out His judgment on us? Did God ordain Hitler? Was God in the Tsunami wave? (Remeber the flood of the OT!!!!!!!) These are difficult questions that I dare not to answer with certanty. But what I can say, and what I do believe, is that God has ordained strickingly similar situation in the Old testament, He ordained it in the New testament, (Yes, even after the death and resurrection of Christ!) And I believe that He ordains it today.

As an encouragment we are reminded of Hebrews 12:5-12

"For if it is discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sones. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?...but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness...Therefore life yout drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for you feet, so that whart is lame may not be ut out of joint but rather be healed...."

Fittingly one of my favarite verses in the Bible is as follows,

I know, O LORD,
that the way of a man is not in himself,
that is in not in man who walks to direct his steps.
Correct me, O LORD,
but in jusctice;
not in your anger,
lest you reduce me to nothing.
Jeremiah 10:23-24

GRRRRRRRR

2006-06-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

I am SOOOOO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!

I just wrote a whole essay through this stupid web site! As I hit the save button I noticed a little note at the bottom of the page stating that connection with the server had been lost.

....
....
....
...
....

All my work was swallowed whole by the, "this web page cannot be displayed!!"

I hate computers, I hate the internet, and (as someone I used to know frequently said), I hate my life!

.....
....
....
....

I wonder if this was how God felt when He made the earth swallow those Israelites whole! Or when he destroyed Sodem and gomorrah and all its inahitants. He must have gotten quite the rush all those people in their dying misery....of course it saddened him, but I initally would get quiet a rush by smashing this computer to bits right now....later I would cry.

I think I will am going to play God and make the ground swallow this computer whole....I of course will resort to using a shovel.

OLD and NEW

2006-06-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

In our disposable society when you go out to buy a "new coat," you are usually doing so for a number of reasons. First to replace the old one that does'nt quite feel as "nice." It could have faded, or perhaps the stiching is starting to come undone. Your old coat may still have the same form as the new one, after all they both are coats, but you could be just plane tired of the old one and how it made you look. Your new coat is vibrant and crisp. When you wear it our in public you feel kind of like you are showing it off, and better yet, you feel "great" when you wear this new coat. Sure you new coat probably functions in the same way as the old. But there are probably a few new stylish features. Like that mp3 pocket on the sleave, or the sippers under the arms for extra air flow on muggy days. In all you are proud and satisfied with your new coat, and alas the old one will probably become forgotten about, collecting dust in the back of the closet. Or else it will be passed on as a second hand, hand-me-down, something that was, but is now just a memory with no real relevance in you everyday life. After all your old coast served its purpose, and now it has been put to rest.

Sometimes I feel that we as Christians treat the Old Covenant like an old jacket that has been replaced by the newer, fancier, more features, New Covenant. Infact, the Old and New covenants of the Bible are nothing like the description above. The New covenant is completely founded and based on the Old covenant. The New could not exist with out the Old. I would callenge you to read a book of the New Covenant that is not based or does not quote the Old Testament, even word for word! Its even kind of ironic that the book of Revelation quotes the Old Testament more that any other New Testament book.

The Old Coventant was built over at least two thousand years. The New, over no more that 70. (A liberal or a conservative may argue differently-I took the average.) We are living the New Covenant now, 2000 years into it. But our knowledge of Gods revelation is based on the Bible, two covenants, one with a written account of 2000 years. The other, 70.

Its funny. I was in a class once when a comment was made that under the New covenant God does not pour out His wrath and anger as He did in the Old. This professed fact was owed to the arrival of Jesus Christ. What a life saver He was! Now we can engage in all varieties of sin, recieve eternal life, and not be struck dead by God's wrathful anger when we do screw up. NOT TRUE!!!! (oh yes there the whole repentance thing too)

Again 70 verses 2000 years. Of course there is more examples of Gods judgment being poured out in the Old Testament. BUT you will also find it under the New Covenant, even after the arrival of Christ. Check out Acts 5. Ananias and Sapphira are both struck dead for their sin. And how was it that Herod died? Acts 12:23 "Immediatly and angel of the Lord struck him(Herod) down because he did not give him the glory, and he was eaten by worms and breathed his last."

OOPS I GUESS THAT WAS A BIT OF A TANGENT!

So lets not toss the Old covenant with all of Gods revelation, judgment, wrath, grace, love....as if it has been totally replaced by a newer, brighter, more pleasing covenant. God is the same God of the Old Covenant, the New Covenant, and of today.

Life is Fragile!

2006-05-31T12:55:00.000-07:00

What an amazing, bewildering and wonderfully horrifying day!!!!! Chella Jacob and I embarked on one of the most relaxing days I have had in, well, definatly over a year. Loaded with bikes we biked down through down town. Jacob is very well incontrol of his two wheeler even though is is such a little guy. We biked at times on the road with the traffic, Jacob being carful and understanding the consequences of biking on the road if you are not careful. We went along warf street infront of the Empress and by the Parlament building to Beacon Hill park. There we spend a few hours playing in the playground, making monkey noises in the monkey tree, climbed the climbing tree and pet all the animals in the petting Zoo. We climbed to the top of beacon hill and rased our bikes down the other side, very dangerous, yet exilerating! After icecream and milk shakes we made our way to the beach, bare foot and all we tossed rocks and soaked eachother. Jacob went off climbing on all the logs, chella and I had a wonderful chat. We finished the afternoon by biking the entire perimiter of James bay, then met Pat for cold drinks at the Salvation Army Addiction Center. From there, exausted, sunburnt and satisfied we headed home. 41/2 hours of sheer play counted, sucsessful.

And of couse what a great way to end a great day? A barbeque with the worship team out at Rob and Michelles. Great food, Great company, Great music. Jacob ran around bare foot playing badminton, and "hit Rob with the ball." Fed up, played out, and sung out we all said our goodbyes.

The van door is wide open over the three foot ditch seperating the road from Rob and Michelles yard. Jacob was playing, "run across the yard and jump over the ditch," when something went horribly wrong. Too much speed, too deep of a ditch, too much metal door sticking out. From the corner of my eye I saw Jacob run and fly over the ditch, stopped forehead on by the bottom corner of the van door. A big thud, then silence. I turned to see my unstoppable little boy lying in the ditch, motionless, blood flowing freely from his forehead. The rest is a blur.

As he came around, we pressured his wound. Brave little guy, the words hospital and ambulence worried him more than the warm wet stuff running all over his hair and face. We loaded him up and off to emerge we went. 6 hours, a good concusion, 10 or so stiches, a few brave tears, the ordeal was over.

As we were discharged with a few instructions, I felt the same way when Pat and I first brought Jacob home from the hospital. We were again put incharge of this little person, whom I had once again discovered, was fragile. Jacob is such a tumble weed boy never really getting hurt, holding back tears when he does feel some pain, seeing my motionless little guy bleeding everywhere was quiet a shock. Perhaps a rude, yet gentle reminder from above that our kids need to be, "handled with care."

Finally in bed (well after 3 am), I thanked God for His provision. I recognize the blessings he had provided for our adveturous day, no car accidents, no bike accident, a perfect day with a reminder at the end. I am so blessed by my son. I need God's grace in helping me not take his high pitched chatty little voice for granted.

God Ordained Disaster?

2006-05-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

"Does disaster come to a city unless the LORD has done it?"
Amos 3:6b

This verse caught me off guard. All of amos is about Gods judgment being poured out as wrath and destruction on those who deserve it. Yet this amazing grace and mercy for Israel thrown in near the end after a long visually descriptive display of God's judgment and wrath. After reading this verse my mind immediatly jumps to the Tsunami. And what about Sudan and there current trial of genocide? Is God the author, or allower of disaster? And in the newspaper just yesterday, right beside a picture of the pope (doing what ever the pope does) in Greenland is this picture of 150 radical Islamics pledging to give there lives to Allah. In other words, they were pronouncing their readily avaliability for suicide bombing in the name of Allah against western and European countries. It is quite clear in the Old Testament that God allowed, or used the evil nations to pronounce and carry out his wrath and judgment on the Israelites. Yet when those evil nations claimed there successful destructive actions as there own, God would pronouce judgment and wrath on them, and destroy them!!! What an amazing, powerful, Just and COMPLICATED God!

As I moved on from Amos I held onto some unresolved issues with the man regarding this one verse. But alas, D.A. Carson in his amazing book "How long oh Lord" has given me an understanding.

"How then should we Christians train our minds (I love that he says train!) to look on wars and disasters? On of the most helpful passages is Luke 13:1-5

Now there were some presant at the time who told Jesus about the Galileans

whose blood Piolat ehad mixed with their sacrifices. Jesus answeres, "Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans becasue they suffered this way? I tell you, NO! But unless you repent you too will all perish. Or those eighteen who all perished when the tower of siloam fellon them-- do you think they were more guilty that all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, NO! But unless you repent you too will all perish."

Carson makes three remarkable, and quite simple observations regarding this passage.

First: Jesus does not assume that those who suffered, under piolate or by the tower, DID NOT DESRVE THEIR FATE! (WOW----HUGE STATEMEN) The fact that Jesus states that unless the people who are with them repent, they too will perish shows that Jesus is assuming that all death is in one way or another the result of sin......and therefore, deserved.

Second: Jesus also insists that the death mentioned above is no evidence that those suffering are more wicked than those who escaped such a fate. All deserve to die----it is Gods mercy alone that has kept sinners alive.

Thirdly: Jesus treats wars and natural disasters not as an adgenda items in a discussion of the mysterious ways of God, rather as incentives to Repentance. Its as if God uses the disasters and wars as a megaphone to call humanity to attention to their own guilt and destination. WE MUST REPENT AND PRAY FOR GODS MERCY.

There are still dozens of unanswered questions that plague my mind. My God is loving and compasionate. And he is Just. He will accomplish what he set out to accomplish... in the beginning. He will use what means necessary in His perfect Wisdom. Little me, I am so small, sinful and insignifiacte, yet so important and a vital part in the kingdom of heaven....

....God forgive me, have mercy on me, and use me.

Robin.

Caught up on Amos

2006-05-26T13:41:00.000-07:00

I have recently been doing a bit of a pilgramage through the minor prophets. I am completely struck in awe of Amos. Amos is this incredible book of judgment and Gods wrathful jusctice being poured out on those whose transgretions number three of four. (chapters one and two) But some of the imagry is mind blowing! Starvation is depicted as "cleanness of teeth" (4:6) "But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream." (5:24)

As God showes Amos the picture of Israel in their bitter mourning he writes,

"So many dead bodies!"

"They are thrown everywhere!"

"Silence!"

After 9 chapters and 10 verses desplaying God's wrathful Justice being poured out on those deserving nations... suddenly a change of voice:

The restoration of Isreal:

In that day I will raise up

the booth of David that is fallen

and repair its breaches,

and raise...

and rebuild...

I will restore...

"I will plant them on their land,

and they shall never again be uprooted

out of the land that I have given them,"

says the LORD you God.

And yet as God is depicted here as a God of mercy and forgivness to the nation of Israel he is also previously in Amose depicted as the one who...

I will send a fire

I will cut off

I will turn my hand against

I will break

I destroyed

It was I who destroyed

I will press you down

And here is the clincher....Because God knows Israel...They are held accountable for there actions.

"You only have I known

of all the families of the earth

therefore I will punish you

for all your iniquities" (3:2)

Being a servant of God is a privillage, but also one that holds more pressure, more responsibility and more accountablity. For all have fallen short, all deserve to die, but we will be judged more so because as Christians we have made a personal committment to God. God pours out his anger and judgment on those who are evil, yet do not know him. God will pour his anger out more so on those whom he does know, and who have personally betrayed him!

The same is true in our lives. When we are wronged by a stranger, though hurt, we can most of the time shrug it off. We justify easily saying, "they are just having a bad day", or "they have issues, guess I never have to see them again." But when someone we love and are daily in communication with stabbs you in back, or lies to you or about you.....how badly it hurts. The feeling stings and cannot be shrugged of. Thoughs of anger and revenge usualy plow through our minds. Forgivness is much harder as their hurtful actions hit close to home.

I'll leave my quarm with Amos for next time. Check out Amos 3:6b for a preview.

Servant of God,

Robin

(That means that I am accountable for my actions, and will be judged more so because I am God's servant....scarey stuff.)

I give in!

2006-05-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, I guess it is time to join the wonderful world wide web! I have always wanted to keep some sort of journal of my devotional life, or just life in random, but I HATE hand writting. I believe that I am actually going to get some where with this.

No going back.